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About Deviant Brony1729/Male/United States Group :iconsilentponyville: SilentPonyville
 
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DOOM 2016 IS GOD DAMNED AMAZING. THAT IS ALL.
I should probably act like I exist again and start replying to comments. I used to do it a decent amount but it seems like I never do anymore despite still loving to get them just as much, so I'm going to take a couple minutes today and reply to all the comments on the last few things I submitted and then try and keep doing that to any new ones that people post.

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LAST TIME...

Starlight Glimmer: (Standing amongst villagers in front of the holding cottage) This is probably fine. (FIREHOSE'D INTO THE NEARBY WALL)

------{STATIC}------

Somewhat Tarnished: Season Five
Sweeten Fur Violence Hello

------{STATIC}------

(The villagers gallop into the vault cave!)
Sugar Belle: I'll finally be able to bake something worthwhile agai- (slips on a puddle of something near the middle of the cave and pratfalls)
Double Diamond: Stand back everypony! (Triumphantly runs in with the two halves of the staff and flings them at the glass vault...resulting in them bouncing harmlessly off without even the least bit of visible damage)
Nightglider: Uh, those are just sticks.
Double Diamond: Oh yeah, and the vault's reinforced glass!
Nightglider: We should probably just get some rocks and hit it a bunch.
Double Diamond: Right!

------{EVENTUALLY}------

Rarity: (Lightly tapping the outside of Starlight's door) Eeh! Eeh! Eeh!
Applejack: (Blatant but well meaning Liarjack face) That's uh...good effort there Rarity.
Twilight Sparkle: (On Fluttershy's back) You're sure you saw our cutie marks in here and not the vault?
Fluttershy: I'm positive! She wanted to keep an extra careful eye on them and had Double Diamond bring them here last night.
Twilight Sparkle: That's not good, we can't break in there like this!
Pinkie Pie: (Still wet all over and reading another book) Given how she made a beeline for this place I seriously doubt she's still in there.
Rainbow Dash: But where would she go? This front door is the only way in or out of the house!
Pinkie Pie: Secret passage. (Turns a page)
Twilight Sparkle: How did you manage to find this out anyway Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Well, last night I snuck outside by climbing up the chimney, which was awful! After that I was hovering outside watching Starlight, with no murderous intent at all, when I saw Double Diamond come in with our cutie marks, then overheard their conversation. Then I spotted her cutie mark when she thought she was alone, and before she could spot me I flew over to my bedroom window. I'd left it unlocked since I knew I'd need a way back in.
Applejack: If you could get in through the window why couldn't get out through the window instead of that climb up the chimney what was so awful?
Fluttershy: (Opens mouth) … (Closes mouth) … (Looks around awkwardly)
Rainbow Dash: For that matter, at what point did you form an opinion about Starlight's ass?
Fluttershy: (Blushes, sweating nervously) Oh um, well, it's just, I, you see-
Nightglider: (From above) HELP INCOMIIIIIIIING!
(A dark bolt barely gives Applejack and Rarity time to dive out of the way before it smashes through the door and utterly demolishes everything in Starlight's living room from the shockwave.)
Nightglider: (Stumbles out a bit disoriented, her mane now styled more naturally while her coat is of a sharper color with her cutie mark having made a triumphant return) Holy CRAP I haven't felt a rush like that in YEARS! The living room is pretty much DESTROYED, I can get the kitchen with another pass if you really want me to!
Twilight Sparkle: (Weakly holding out her hoof in protest) No don't, Starlight might be in there with our cutie marks and we don't want them to get buried, so we have to be careful!
Double Diamond: (Trots into view looking more colorful and cutie mark'd like the other villagers) Actually after we hit the vault glass with rocks a bunch the cases broke and then our cutie marks flew back to their respective ponies all on their own!
Twilight Sparkle: Did I say we had to be careful? Because clearly I meant that we had to LEVEL THE HOUSE WITH HER- (BLARF!) -IN IT!
Villagers: YAAAY!!!
Pinkie Pie: Maybe the cutie marks will be fine, but the secret passage that's in there probably WILL be buried.
Twilight Sparkle: (Widens eyes) WAIT NEVERMIND JUST FIND HER THE NORMAL WAY!
Villagers: Awww...

------{STATIC}------

Starlight Glimmer: (Galloping along pulling a small wagon with the cutie marks of the mane six behind her, heading toward the mountains) By the time they find my secret escape I'll be long gone in the caves and they'll be forced to see how they enjoy life without their precious cutie marks! Why, the only thing that could stop my plan is if I stupidly left my bed overturned instead of taking a split second to put it back into place with my unicorn magic on my way ou-
Double Diamond: (Emerges from large secret tunnel exit) How exactly did we never notice this before? The village is thirty yards over there with a completely unobstructed view of it!
Starlight Glimmer: -fffffffffFFFFF- (Runs faster!)
Sugar Belle: (Squints) She's so far away! If only we had a pair of binoculars of some sort to discern what she was trying to do!
Nightglider: How would that help? We all know the pass only goes one way!
Sugar Belle: Oh, right!

------{STATIC}------

Starlight Glimmer: I can't believe the lot of you are all so willing to believe in the words of one who has every incentive to lie to you after everything I've tried to teach you! (Vengefully fires back a magic beam at her pursuers!)
Nightglider: (Eyes shoot open in fright before she barely manages to dodge out of the way, the beam passing by so closely that a patch of fur on her side lights on fire and she lands to try and frantically extinguish it!)
Double Diamond: (Stops and starts throwing snow on the blaze to help her!)
Sugar Belle: (Runs past in pursuit, angry tears of betrayal in her eyes) What did you ever teach me besides how to make everypony miserable with terrible muffins?!
Nightglider: (Gets back to her hooves with smoke coming off of her) Thanks, where are the Princess and her friends?
Double Diamond: Weeeell...

------{STATIC}------

Twilight Sparkle: (Still on Fluttershy's back) Rainbow Dash for fuck's sake just get down here and trot with the rest of us!
Rainbow Dash: (Straining INCREDIBLY HARD to fly slower than the rest can casually walk) No! I'm the best flyer in Equestria, I can do this!
Rarity: Dash, darling, none of us have our cutie marks right now, there's no need to feel ashamed that you can't soar through the air with your usual grace!
Rainbow Dash: (INTENSELY INEFFECTIVE FLAPPING) Shut up! I can do it!
Fluttershy: Um, if it would make you feel any better, we could just tell everypony else that you flew instead of walked if they ask.
Rainbow Dash: (Blushes slightly while still trying to fly) Doesn't matter, I'd know!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh forget this. Applejack, bring her down!
Rainbow Dash: (Is struck by an incompetently tossed length of rope that hadn't even been uncoiled which causes her to stop and look down in bewilderment) What the hay was THAT?
Twilight Sparkle: (Looks toward Applejack) Okay seriously what the hell do APPLES inherently have to do with lassoing, or countryisms for that matter?!
Applejack: Ya'll'd be surprised.

------{STATIC}------

Starlight Glimmer: (Gallops away, starting to cross a dangerous looking naturally formed stone bridge)
Sugar Belle: (Uses her magic to grab a bit of snow from a nearby drift as she gallops after, compacting it into a distinct pie shape) My newest recipe, snow pie!
(She tosses it at Starlight, missing the unicorn herself but managing to break the cart and send the six cutie mark containing jars plummeting to the ground far below!)
Sugar Belle: Yay!
Random Unicorn Stallion Villager: (Comes to a stop near Sugar Belle after catching up, his cutie mark a small bee with two X marks over its eyes) You know that's not really a pie. It's just snow shaped to resemble a pie. Implying it to be a recipe of some kind is ridiculous!
Sugar Belle: (Sighs) Glad to see you got your cutie mark back too Buzz Kill.
Starlight Glimmer: (Manages to catch the jars just before they hit the ground and resumes galloping away with them levitating above her)
Sugar Belle: Oh no!
Nightglider: Don't worry we got her!
(Nightglider and Double Diamond fly and gallop past, attracting the attention of the fleeing unicorn who proceeds to stop just long enough to unleash a concussive blast of magic on the bridge behind her when the two pursuing villagers are at about the halfway mark. Double Diamond lets out a cry of panic as he's flung away to fall to his death, and Nightglider breaks off pursuit to zip down and catch him before bringing him back up to the other side.)
Sugar Belle: (Calling to them over the gap) Just go! If we lose her we'll never find her again!
Double Diamond: (To Nightglider) But she'll massacre just the two of us!
Nightglider: No choice! We've got to delay her, come on!
Double Diamond: (Looks uneasy and starts to follow, but then stops as he notices a pair of skis and appears to gain inspiration) Nightglider come back, I've got an idea!
Sugar Belle: (Bites her lip as she tries to think of a way across)
Twilight Sparkle: Sugar Belle!
Sugar Belle: (Looks back as the mane six approach) Oh thank goodness you caught...up... (Slightly tilts head looking up at Twilight) Why are you-
Twilight Sparkle: (Still on Fluttershy's back while Fluttershy is on Rainbow Dash's back, their combined weight keeping the stubborn pegasus from trying to fly anymore) We had a problem and solved it in as timely a manner as we could with no time to care how weird it was, now what's the situation?!
Rainbow Dash: (Growls indignantly)
Sugar Belle: Starlight Glimmer blew up the bridge, and now Nightglider and Double Diamond are chasing after her alone!
Applejack: That's awful brave of 'em after all the things they've seen her do these last few days!
Buzz Kill: They'll probably just get blasted and die though.
Pinkie Pie: They'll be gone without having made a single bit of difference in this vast endless void within which we've all been conjured into existence without permission, just like the rest of us inevitably will.
Buzz Kill: We should hang out.
Pinkie Pie: Bite me.
Sugar Belle: He's right though, if we can't get to the other side to help them I don't know WHAT Starlight's going to do to them!
(Suddenly out of nowhere, there is a flurry of inflation noises and rubbery squeaking as a massive balloon bridge is assembled and spans the gap left over by Starlight Glimmer's destructive spell! Everypony looks on in shock before looking to their sides to see a deathly still cyan colored unicorn stallion with a poofy blue mane and a balloon animal on his flank, smiling a creepy dead smile despite the two holes in his head and the dirt still lightly covering him from having been buried.)
Sugar Belle: (Tearfully happy gasp!) Party Favor! (Hugs the unresponsive stallion tightly) Thank you so much, you're amazing!
Twilight Sparkle: (Confused scrunchface) What the FUCK?!
Rarity: Twilight darling excuse my ignorance, but why be surprised when YOU just recently came back from the dead yourself?
Twilight Sparkle: That stallion is still totally dead though! Look at him!
Sugar Belle: Come on everypony! We've got to help Nightglider and Double Diamond! (Gallops over the bridge heroically!)
Applejack: To be fair Twilight ya still look half dead yerself!
Twilight Sparkle: But I'm moving, and talking, and breathing! Plus there's a well understood mechanism by which I reanimated even IF the lack of a cutie mark is unprecedented for it!
Rainbow Dash: That's what you said about the Pinkie Sense when you first heard of it but now you're a believer!
Twilight Sparkle: Dash shut up you're just grumpy because we didn't let you fail to fly over here.
Fluttershy: Um, girls, we should-
Rainbow Dash: Am not! And at least I'm not horking up blood covered crystals every few minutes!
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah well we'll see how you feel when- BLARF! -you die and lack the necessary magical physiological processes of which said 'horking' is a byproduct!
Rainbow Dash: I remember damn well what it felt like Twilight, it felt like YOU WATCHING ME CHOKE TO DEATH!
Twilight Sparkle: (Covers face with hoof irritably) OH MY GOD ARE WE STILL ON ABOUT THAT?!
Fluttershy: That bridge is really colorful and noticeable. Starlight's probably already spotted-
Rarity: Twilight, we died, twice! I think we are well within our rights to be 'on about it' as we so choose!
Pinkie Pie: I never died.
Applejack: Yeah, 'cus you was too dang busy killin' us!
Pinkie Pie: (Sighs) Which could have been easily avoided if you'd just accepted my sister a little more readily.
Fluttershy: Girls we should really cross before she-
(A red crystalline lance shoots through the bridge and pops enough of its constituent balloons to collapse it, sending it falling uselessly into the chasm below!)

Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity: FLUTTERSHY WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN US?!
Fluttershy: (Hiding in her mane) I'm sorry...
Pinkie Pie: (Now lying on her side apathetically) Meh.

------{STATIC}------

Starlight Glimmer: (Drawing in toward the caves with the jars still levitating behind her, tears of loss and anger remaining in her eyes)
(Nightglider swoops in carrying Double Diamond who is now fully outfitted with his ski gear. She drops him at the top of the adjacent slope at which point he starts quickly speeding down the hill adjacent to Starlight's path, triggering an avalanche that advances toward her in a stampede of snow!)
Double Diamond: GET GNAR'D ON BIIIITCH!!!
Starlight Glimmer: (Gasps and sprints toward the cave entrance but to no avail, getting caught in the avalanche and buried beneath the onrushing avalanche, jars and all!)
(Double Diamond skids to a halt, Nightglider lands, and Sugar Belle gallops up beside the two of them in front of the pile of snow. After a few moments an eruption of magic tosses snow everywhere and Starlight Glimmer emerges with the cutie mark jars no worse for the wear, causing the three villager ponies to gasp in dismay.)
Starlight Glimmer: (Wipes tears from her eyes and affixes a glare to all of them) Tell me, what have I done for any of you that you did not ask for yourselves? I found each of you, broken and alone, and to each of you all I offered was a place of refuge in which you could reside for as long as you wished. I remember well how each of you, without coercion, knocked on my door and asked me to remove your cutie marks. Why pursue me so doggedly as this when all I gave you was a source of happiness?!
Sugar Belle: Happiness? I spent years making horrible muffins that only made the ponies that ate them miserable! How did that ever make anypony happy?!
Double Diamond: What about the princess and her friends? Did dehydrating them within an inch of their lives make anypony happy?!
Nightglider: And what about Party Favor?! Did you think watching him die at your hoof would send ripples of happiness through the village?!
Starlight Glimmer: (Stomps hoof in frustration) I was SCARED!!! For years I've known the type of power that would oppose us, simultaneously overwhelming and insidious! I've spent my entire adult life in ceaseless training with every waking moment I could spare just to become the strongest unicorn in Equestria knowing full well the alicorns would not just leave us to live as we pleased, or let ponies choose for themselves! I knew that a single misstep among us would be exploited, and had to be stamped out with all haste! Everything I've done since the Princess arrived has been done out of fear, a fear well justified by the threat she and all of her kind represent to us, evidenced well by the situation we find ourselves in right now!
Sugar Belle: Well if our way of life couldn't stand up against even one pony dissenting, then maybe it deserved to fall down!

(Three lances materialize in front of Starlight Glimmer and shoot outward toward the three of them, stopping just short of their throats and making them reflexively flinch away.)
Starlight Glimmer: So be it...if I am no longer wanted here I will leave you to your chosen fate, as foolish as I may think it to be. But I am taking these cutie marks with me, I will not give up my efforts to free all of Equestria from the oppression of alicorn and cutie mark alike, and there is NOTHING you can do to stop- (A still completely limp Party Favor inexplicably catapults in from off screen and knocks her down, breaking her concentration and causing the jars to fall to the ground and break apart, sending the cutie marks shooting through the air back towards the mane six!)

------{STATIC}------

Applejack: They did it! Them cutie marks're headed right for us!
Pinkie Pie: (Monotone and still lying on side indifferently) Oh boy. I'll be ignorant in my hyperactivity again.
Rarity: Won't you miss being so observant, focused, and insightful though?
Pinkie Pie: (Sits up) Not for a second. I'd rather have this in brief, rare bursts rather than it being my natural state of being, because being able to comprehend and intuit so much at once for so long makes all of it seem pointless and futile.
Rainbow Dash: All of what?
Pinkie Pie: Everything. Your life. My life. All lives. Life as a concept. Existence itself. All that physics dictate it leads to is an endless void of a universe that experienced complete irreversible heat death trillions of years ago and there can no longer be anything else, forever. That we even blink into existence for the tiny millisecond that is our lives is a vast cosmic joke. If this is even half of what it's like to be Twilight ALL THE TIME, then it's no wonder that she's so gloomy and nasty every waking moment when she's tasked with saving the whole stupid pointless world over and over while the emotional core all of us helped foster is constantly having to work against the grim mathematics to which her intellectual core is privvy.
Twilight Sparkle: (Eyes misty with joy) Oh goddess somepony finally understands!
(Their cutie marks finally impact, causing each of them to glow brightly and regain their color. Rainbow Dash promptly tosses off Fluttershy and Twilight before jetting into the air and doing a few celebratory loops through the air.)
Rainbow Dash: AWW YEEEEEAAAH!
Pinkie Pie: Oh my gosh I've been such a big dummy, the fact that our lives are just teeny bits of sand in an endless unfeeling beach that pop in and out of existence in a quadrillionth of a second without ever having had a point just means it's silly to not have fun while we can! (Jumps into the air as her hair poofs up to its usual floof levels) WEE I'M ALIVE!!!
Rarity: I can finally put into the words the entire PANTHEON of problems with everything in that dreadful holding cottage at the end of the row! For instance their complete lacking of what a hardwood floor is supposed to be, and having the audacity to think that rug matched the color scheme at all, completely ignoring the fact that it was a dusty rat's nest of a floor covering in the first place! Then there are the curtains, or the fact that they- (Continues to audibly rant in the background)
Fluttershy: (With a familiar looking bird perched on her hoof) I'm so sorry little bird, I didn't mean to make you feel like I thought you were stupid, I was just trying desperately to get my special talent to work!
Bird: (Chirps with an understanding nod) [Subtitle: Alright, we're cool.]
Fluttershy: Oh good! (Nuzzles the little bird happily before turning to Applejack) How about you Applejack?
Applejack: Hrm... (Turns toward a nearby boulder, sizes it up, then turns and delivers a devastating buck that splits it in half and sends both halves flying off into the distance) (Turns back with a satisfied grin) Yep, ah'm good.
Rarity: -and the sheer GALL to think that such a shade of green could ever do that backdrop justice! ...Twilight are you quite alright there dear?
(Her friends all turn to see her on the ground twitching uncontrollably as sparks of purple energy arc all over her body, her coat stubbornly remaining in its faded coloration.)
Twilight Sparkle: HAVING...SOME...TROUBLE!
Rainbow Dash: Oh come on! I thought you'd be done with this reanimating stuff when you got your cutie mark!
Twilight Sparkle: DIFFERENT...PROBLEM...RAINBOW! (A surge of sparks shoots outward from her cutie marks causing everypony to back away as she starts to levitate and an unstable aura surrounds her) The first time I transformed I was already a very powerful unicorn!
Pinkie Pie: (Finally lands from existential crisis resolving jump of happiness) That and we kind of blew you up.
Twilight Sparkle: Right that too! (Another wave of energy pulses outward from her as the aura visibly intensifies, causing Twilight to grit her teeth and clench her eyes shut) Hrrrnnngg! Going from NO MAGIC to ALL THE MAGIC isn't going to work as well...or quickly!
Pinkie Pie: (Gasp!) But Starlight's going to totally kill Glidey, Belley, Dee Dee, and Pee Eff!
Applejack: (Scratching head) Ah'm still just tryin' to figure out how in the blazes he got over there. (Is lifted into the air by Rainbow Dash) Whoa nelly!
Rainbow Dash: We'll stall her as long as we can! C'mon Fluttershy! (Zips away leaving behind an echo of Applejack's shout)
Fluttershy: C-coming! (Flies after as fast as she can manage)
Rarity: (Turns to Twilight) Is there anything I can do to help you Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: (Aura intensifying further as yet more energy arcs across her form) M-maybe if you work with Buzz Kill...you can make a magical containment field...and compress it around me...to help stabilize the magic!
Buzz Kill: Yeah as though two ordinary unicorns like us can possibly-
Rarity: I'll sleep with you.
Buzz Kill: -turn down helping royalty ever!
Twilight Sparkle: Wait seriously Rarity you're just going to-
Rarity: (Rari-growl voice) THERE'S NO TIME TO BE SUBTLE TWILIGHT SHUT UP AND CONCENTRATE!

------{STATIC}------

Starlight Glimmer: (Looking up into the completely still eyes of Party Favor whilst he still rests atop of her) WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
Sugar Belle: Yeah I'm not too clear on that either but isn't it cool that he's back though?! (Smiles happily!)

Sugar Belle: (Is knocked out of frame by Party Favor being magically flung at her) Oof!
Starlight Glimmer: THAT'S IT, EVERYPONY DIES! (Begins powering up horn as her former comrades back away nervously) IF I CAN'T ESCAPE WITH A ROYAL CUTIE MARK I'LL LEAVE SOME INSTRUCTIVE CORPSES TO SIZZLE BEHIND ME!
(There is a distinct “Yeehaw!” from above shortly before Applejack collides hooves first with the ground, narrowly missing Starlight but still sending the enraged unicorn popping up into the air from the force of the impact.)
Starlight Glimmer: (Magic dissipating from surprise) What?
(A rainbow blur spikes her back toward the nearby rock wall)
Starlight Glimmer: (Flying through the air) What?! (Slams into the rock wall with a pained grunt and falls back to the ground)
Rainbow Dash: (Lands) And that one's for trying to seduce Fluttershy!
Starlight Glimmer and Applejack: (Spits out a tooth and looks back at Rainbow Dash) WHAT?!
Fluttershy: (Lands next to her) Um, actually, to tell the truth, I was kind of watching her shower through her window while plotting to murder her last night.
Starlight Glimmer, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash: WHAT?!
Fluttershy: (Lowers ears and head) I don't think I'm a good pony anymore...
Applejack: Ain't none of us gonna be good ponies anymore after we finish with this here princess killin' hornswoggler! (A brief magical zap envelops her prior to her being encased in solid crystal up to her neck) Aw dang it! (Flops over, grunting as she tries in vain to break out of the crystal)
Starlight Glimmer: Yes let's all stand around talking about killing me while not expecting me to do anything about it because we're soooooo smart! (Horn glows brighter as she pushes the encased Applejack toward the edge of the cliff but is met with a cyan hoof a second time as a much faster attacker assaults her, the strike to her chin briefly dazing her and forcing her up off her forelegs)
Rainbow Dash: (Follows the punch to the jaw with another solid blow to the gut, knocking the unicorn over) Well if you're in a rush I can oblige!
Fluttershy: (Grunts cutely as she slowly pushes Applejack farther from the edge)
Rainbow Dash: (To the three villager ponies) You three can hop in and help anytime yaknow!
(Starlight Glimmer coughs trying to get her breath back while Rainbow Dash flips forward to try and bring her stronger back hooves down right on her head. The unicorn rolls out of the way and blinks forward a good twenty feet, which proves trivial to the pegasus that is nigh instantly on her again. Starlight dodges a left jab followed by a right hook before her horn lights up and blasts Rainbow Dash with a cone of magical kinetic energy that propels her right off the cliff side.)

Rainbow Dash: (Zips back up into view) Nice job knocking the pegasus off the cliff genius! (Does a loop to gather momentum before trying to knock Starlight's block off only to smack into a magical barrier much like a bird into a well cleaned window pane)
Starlight Glimmer: Thusly giving myself breathing room to get a shield spell off, I too thought it was a good choice. (Grits her teeth with malice as her magic drives the pegasus' face into the snow!)
Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash!
Nightglider: She needs our help, come on!
(The three villagers make another attempt to rush her, which only seems to irritate her further!)
Starlight Glimmer: Everypony DOWN!
(Everypony but Starlight are promptly gripped by a magical aura before being slammed into and held against the ground, unable to overpower the unicorn's potent binding spell.)
Starlight Glimmer: Fluttershy, I really ought to thank you for solving a bit of a conundrum I was having. (The knife from her kitchen blinks into existence from its place in her magical storage) Because until now I had no earthly clue how this got outside my front door! (Grins with malevolence as the lifts Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash up into the air and teleports the knife into Fluttershy's hoof) Since you're apparently so eager to murder somepony as well, I might as well help you along! (Starts slowly forcing the knife in Fluttershy's hoof toward Rainbow Dash's neck!)
Fluttershy: (Gasps, tears streaming down her face as she grabs her hoof and starts desperately trying to wrench it away from Rainbow Dash) Nooooooo!!!

------{STATIC}------

Pinkie Pie: (Looking through pair of balloon binoculars) (Gasps!) (Lowers binoculars and glares) That evil bitch is giving pink a bad name!
Twilight Sparkle: (Aura slowly glowing brighter as it is compressed further and further via the herculean efforts of Rarity and Buzz Kill) Where did you get those?
Pinkie Pie: (Suddenly her usually peppy self) Oh, Party Favor made them for me before he went over to help! Cool huh?
Twilight Sparkle: … (Blinks)
Pinkie Pie: (Returns to glaring) But now Starlight is making Fluttershy murder Rainbow Dash, and I refuse to let her prevent my future threesome before it even gets off the ground! (Narrows eyes and plucks a bandit mask from out of her mane) I know I swore off murder and helped the other ponies in Murder Anon to better themselves and gain freedom from their habit as I have, but this falls squarely within the DXTR exception of the group's charter!
Twilight Sparkle: DXTR?!
Pinkie Pie: Deviation eXtenuating Triage Response, stating that a member of Murder Anon will not be held responsible for relapsing if it's proven that they acted in the defense of themselves or others by killing a murderer to prevent continuing fatalities! It's why they paired me up with- (Gasps again!) -oh my gosh!
(The other three ponies look back to where Pinkie is looking and all scream as they lay eyes on an enormous stallion wearing a hockey mask that had seemingly appeared from nowhere, accompanied by a sharp violin note.)
Pinkie Pie: Maskey! (Tackles him to the ground happily and nuzzles against his chest!)
Machete Mask: (Silently pats the top of her head, seemingly unfazed by the affectionate take down)
(Twilight, Rarity, and Buzz Kill exchange looks, shrug, and resume stabilizing Twilight's alicorn magic.)
Pinkie Pie: What are you doing here?! Wait wait don't tell me, you noticed I wasn't at the meeting a couple days ago?
Machete Mask: (Nods)
Pinkie Pie: And then started asking around about me until you heard that we'd taken off on an east bound train?
Machete Mask: (Nods more)
Pinkie Pie: And then you came all this way just to make sure I was alright because you were worried about me?
Machete Mask: (Enthusiastic nodding!)
Pinkie Pie: Awwww you sweetie pie! (Gives him another peck on the tip of his mask)
Machete Mask: (ANOTHER SUDDEN BEAR HUG OF RECIPROCATION)
Pinkie Pie: (Back pops) ERK! Hehehe, listen I already got in trouble once this trip so let's just say that when we get back home you are totally getting something that rhymes with snow lob!
Buzz Kill: (Offscreen) We know what you're talking about you can just say blo-
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity: (Also off screen) QUIET!
Pinkie Pie: (Pops back up to her hooves, suddenly super serious faced again!) No time for rhyming right now though, we have a code DXTR on our hooves! (Puts on bandit mask and picks up buzzsaw axe)
Machete Mask: (Gets up and tilts head in questioning manner)
Pinkie Pie: That pink unicorn over there tried to brainwash all of us, killed one of her own villagers, and now she's trying to kill every pony else over there! (Points)
Machete Mask: (Makes a somewhat enthusiastic grunt as he draws his namesake machete!)
Pinkie Pie: I know right?! Now, everypony look that way! (Points again!)
(Rarity, Twilight, and Buzz Kill look over to where Pinkie is pointing and see nothing before looking back to them.)
Rarity: What are we supposed to-
Pinkie and Machete Mask: (GONE)

------{STATIC}------

Fluttershy: (Sobbing hysterically as the knife presses steadily harder against Rainbow Dash's throat despite her best efforts) I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!!!
Rainbow Dash: It's okay Fluttershy I...I know it's not you doing it!
Starlight Glimmer: (Through angrily grit teeth) Oh she'll still feel the pulsing of your jugular against the knife all the same don't worry!
Pinkie Pie: You know in any other circumstance I would've immediately started hitting on you for that.
Starlight Glimmer: (Whirls around and looks horrified, a sting note sounding as she beholds the two masked ponies directly behind her, weapons raised!)
Pinkie Pie: But instead we're just gonna plain hit ya a bunch m'kay?
Starlight Glimmer: HOW THE FU- (Cringes back and holds up a defensive hoof as they both brutally slash against her shield orb a few times to no effect) (As they both pause and look thoughtful she lowers her hoof, realizes she's not been cut to ribbons, and chuckles) My my my, it seems I was scared out of my wits for nothing. (Summons a lance and plunges it through Machete Mask's torso!)
Machete Mask: … (Looks down at lance sticking out of him) … (Pulls out lance and tosses it aside then picks up the whole shield orb with her inside of it)
Starlight Glimmer: (Looking considerably less cocky all of a sudden) WAIT.
Machete Mask: (Chucks her off the side of the ridge!)
Starlight Glimmer: (Yelps in panic, dissipating the shield and teleporting back onto solid ground a ways behind him) (Tries to run but finds Pinkie Pie right in her path)
Pinkie Pie: (Full on psycho voice!) I'M GONNA BEAT YOU TO LIFE!!! (Makes a reckless diagonal downward slash with her revved up buzz saw axe!)
(Starlight cries out as her shoulder is cut and backs away bleeding, raising her hoof before a second slash opens up another wound on her leg! She then backs into what may as well have been a wall before turning just in time for Machete Mask's hoof to bash her across the face giving her a prominent nosebleed and dazing her enough to prevent another teleport. He pushes her over onto her side, holding her down with one hoof as the other draws his machete and prepares to skewer her with it!)
Starlight Glimmer: N-no...this can't be it...my virginal, sober life of service to those in need can't end like this!
Pinkie Pie: (Screeches to a halt, having been rushing in to get a piece of that kill!) Oh no! Maskey, stop! She's a Final Girl! You'll be killed by a plot contrivance or-
(A huge yeti leaps down from higher up on the ridge and pulls Machete Mask off the unicorn before starting a fight to the death in defense of Starlight Glimmer!)
Starlight Glimmer: Mister Azuvyet Unminshund! The yeti that found me freezing to death in the mountains and cared for me as if I were his own until I was healthy! Also I never told anypony about him!
Pinkie Pie: -a straight up deus ex machina.
(Azuvyet and Machete Mask engage in a battle of beasts, slashing and bashing one another before Machete Mask scores the killing blow! But as he's bleeding out, the valiant yeti pulls the embedded blade out of himself and tosses it aside before making a final charge and knocking both himself and Machete Mask off the cliff to the snowy rocks far below!)
Starlight Glimmer: Mister Azuvyet! Nooo!
(She runs over to the cliff's edge and looks over to see the two them mangled by the impact...and yet, Machete Mask reaches up, determined as ever to kill her! Starlight Glimmer growls in disgust at the persistent monster, and summons all nine of her lances that aim for a moment before shooting downward. The first one splits Machete Mask's raised foreleg in half prior to the remaining eight skewering him, after which he finally falls still.)
Pinkie Pie: (Seemingly unfazed) So you seriously had all these cuties like Double Diamond all to yourself for years and never thought to invite them to your bedroo- (A lance hits and deflects off her mask, splitting it in two with a metallic ping and forcing her head aside before the launched weapon spins through air after having bounced off, stabbing into the the ground in front of her when it lands)
Starlight Glimmer: You've done enough to ruin my life without questioning my propriety on top of everything else you freak!

Pinkie Pie: (Not looking back toward Starlight as she speaks) You know...I'm part of a group called Murder Anonymous. We're all serial killers trying to not be serial killers anymore...but that kind of help doesn't come free. They pair us up like a lot of addiction recovery groups do, but it's not just to help each other stay on the straight and narrow. See, if one of us goes rogue, their partner is tasked with taking them out before they can hurt any more ponies. Not the best system, but it works faster to minimize damage than the police ponies do. I was partnered up with Maskey for two reasons. The first is that I was supposed to give a good example to follow...but he's not here for me to keep setting that example for now, is he? The second reason is that I was the only one in the group that was crazy enough to hope to take him down. So really when you put those two facts together...and then break my favorite mask ever? (Sing songey voice) Mistaaaaaaaake...
(Pinkie Pie brings her gaze to bear on Starlight, who looks on horrified as she sees that the pink earth pony's eyes have changed into black pits with two spots of bright red light fixated intensely upon her, her cutie marks having shifted in color to a sanguine red.)
Pinkie Pie: (Voice distorted) BIG GOD DAMN MISTAKE!
Starlight Glimmer: (Back away) FOR BUCK'S SAKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU PONIES?!
(Pinkie slams her two front hooves down hard enough to send Machete Mask's weapon flying up off the ground then makes a leap toward Starlight, grabbing the other weapon in her spare hoof and bringing axe and machete both down upon her target as she lands. Starlight takes advantage of the obvious telegraph to throw up another shield spell only for her fear of the pink mare to practically double when the shield shatters in a single blow.)
Pinkie Pie: EVER BEEN STRANGLED WITH YOUR OWN INTESTINES!?!? (Takes another slash that barely misses Starlight's throat)
Starlight Glimmer: (Is utterly and completely convinced that she needs to teleport away right that fucking second and does so, making a break for the cave!)
Pinkie Pie: (Leaps off one side of the shot and back into it on the opposite side in front of Starlight and makes another pair of horizontal swings!) I'LL CRACK YOUR SKULL OPEN WITH MY THUMBS!!!
Starlight Glimmer: (Ducks just in time to only get a bit of her mane shaved off!) WHAT THE HELL IS A THUMB?! WAIT NO- (Realizes she can't dodge away in such a prone state and fires off another crystallization spell at Pinkie's chest!)
Pinkie Pie: (Is stopped by the encasing crystal as Starlight scrambles away a few clumsy step before being on her hooves again, but only takes a few moments to crack the crystalline prison apart with a bellow of insanity!) MURDERING YOU IS GONNA FEEL SO RIGHT!!!
Applejack: (Furrows brow, looks down at own crystal encasing and grunts a few times as she tries to break out of it again to no avail) (Sighs) Ah need to get back to the dang gym.
Starlight Glimmer: (Continuing to back away looking more and more exhausted as the psychotic party pony breaks shield spell after progressively weaker shield spell) CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS?!
Pinkie Pie: NO WORDS, ONLY YOU SCREAMING!!!
Starlight Glimmer: (Jumps back another couple steps then fires a beam of magical plasma, hitting Pinkie in her left foreleg!)
Pinkie Pie: (Drops the machete as her foreleg goes limp, with a smoking hole left behind by the beam going straight through her arm about halfway up from the elbow) THAT TICKLED A LITTLE!!! (Lunges back into the fray undeterred and manages to knock Starlight to the ground again with a particularly powerful strike, immediately pinning her to the ground with her body as she revs up the buzz saw axe and jams it against Starlight's last desperation shield, sparks flying as it cuts down the shield further and further until at last...the axe shatters from wear!)
Starlight Glimmer: … (Slowly uncovers face, shivering with that good ol' death fear) I'm...alive?
Pinkie Pie: (Normal voice) For a couple seconds, yeah. (Wide psycho smile as a quadruple barreled Torgue explosive shotgun digistructs into her hoof and jams right against Starlight's face)
Sugar Belle: (Still struggling against the binding spell) Why didn't you just START with that?!
Pinkie Pie: (Eyes flash dangerously) Because this wouldn't have been nearly as FUN! (Voice distorts again as eyes and maniacal grin widen in sheer exultation of the exquisite moment, heavy shadowing making it seem that her face consists of nothing but an evil smile and two red glowing dots) NOW FEAR YOUR MASTER, BITCH!!!
Starlight Glimmer: (Screams in terror!)
(Click)

(Click click click)
Pinkie Pie: (Blinks as eyes and cutie mark return to normal) Oh gosh it's been so long since I had to use this I forgot to buy ammo for it!
(Starlight promptly levitates everypony, unberserker'd Pinkie Pie included, into the air to be held helplessly there by her magic as she struggles to her hooves again, bleeding and shaking from the near deadly scuffle as she catches her breath.)
Rainbow Dash: Good job Pinkie! I loved the part where you didn't kill her at the last second and we're all screwed now!
Pinkie Pie: (Without a hint of sarcasm) You do? That's weird, that's my least favorite part!
Rainbow Dash: (Facehoof) We're about to die and you can't even recognize sarcasm just once?!

------{STATIC}------

Rarity: Keep going! (Grits teeth) Keep going!
Buzz Kill: (Eyes closed tightly) I'm doing everything I can!
Twilight Sparkle: POWER...OVER...WHELMING! ...what...what is...oh no...no... (Eyes suddenly shoot open, the blue light along the upper border of her crystal covered left eye glowing again, this time only growing brighter with no equality mark to counteract) (Her blank look turns into an unnerving smile followed by a just as unsettling, progressively more demented laugh as cracks form in the crystal and her coat surrounding the eye fades to a darker shade of purple)
(The concentrating magic power erupts in a blinding light as it finally stabilizes into a working alicorn once more, startling Rarity and Buzz Kill who stagger backwards, covering their eyes as a cackling bolt of purple light soars into the sky before the light can even dissipate. When it does, the two unicorns are left standing there, blinking in confusion a moment before getting their wits about them again.)
Rarity: Wahaha! It worked!
Buzz Kill: Yeah! So uh...when do you want to do the thing?
Rarity: (Suddenly less enthusiastic) Oh uh...right...that...let's uh, let's talk about that later darling.

------{STATIC}------

Starlight Glimmer: (Talking to the ponies she has levitating helplessly over her lances) Alright so, as you can see, kind of tired and low on magical energy from that robust bit of exercise. I originally wanted to do some manner of grandiose execution, but given that I need to get going and rest up once I'm in proper hiding, I'm just going to impale you on these. (Tilts head mockingly up at Pinkie Pie) M'kay?
Rainbow Dash: Welp, since we're about to die Pinkie, would you finally tell me what that stallion is named Stab Wound when-
(A shooting star hits the ground between them, the shockwave shattering all the lances into harmless piles of ruby shards and breaking Starlight's hold on all of them. Once the dust clears, Princess Twilight stands there managing an even more disturbing grin than had Pinkie Pie. The cracked crystal on her left eye shatters revealing a glowing blue eye with shrunken pupil wreathed in a partial ring of azure flame as part of the left half of her mane starts to float upward as though caught in an unseen current.)
Twilight Sparkle: Hello there! (Head jerks backward as she's once again skewered through the skull by a cutie mark removal spell charged lance, causing her friends to gasp in dismay!)
Starlight Glimmer: (Arrogantly) Second verse same as the-
Twilight Sparkle: (Casually pulls the lance out with her magic, utterly unaffected as the holes it left behind in her skull regenerate within seconds.)
Starlight Glimmer: (Face turns pale) -first.
Twilight Sparkle: Not really. (Snaps the lance in half like a toothpick and flings it away) When you sang that first verse you did it whilst I was still assuming you had the magic power of a blank flank unicorn. You didn't overpower me. You sucker punched me...which I can actually respect in a way. You sold the deception so perfectly that it took Fluttershy finding you out to make me even consider otherwise! But now that I know precisely what I'm dealing with, you're proper fucked. There was a time when you actually could have won this thing, but that is long, long gone now. So I have a couple questions for you Starlight-
(Four lances shoot out of the ground and pierce Twilight's shoulders and hip joints!)
Starlight Glimmer: Die!
(They rotate and jut outward, tearing off Twilight's legs before another set of four lances pierce through her now limbless torso!)
Starlight Glimmer: DIE!
(The first four lances stab through Twilight from the top as the ninth neatly lops off her head, which Starlight catches in her magic!)
Starlight Glimmer: DIE AND STAY DEAD!!!
(Starlight raises the severed head into the air and smashes it against the ground...only to realize a second later that all she's broken was a head sized hunk of purple crystal!)
Twilight Sparkle: (Head already having regenerated) Oh my, you can control nine of those at once?
(There is a flurry of motion around them as countless black swords erupt out of the ground hilt upward and floating purple octahedrons materialize out of thin air, glowing with inner energy begging to be focused and unleashed.)
Twilight Sparkle: That's adorable.
Starlight Glimmer: (Looks around, slack jawed in fright as she backs toward the cave entrance) W-what...are you?!
Twilight Sparkle: (A pair of swords cut through the lances before she stretches her newly reformed limbs, briefly shaking the clinging bits of crystal off each one in turn and pulling the last bits of lance out of her torso) (The blood covering her body steadily evaporates away, steam rising from her as she speaks) First question...do you know what it's like to die? To close your eyes and just pop out of existence forever?
Starlight Glimmer: (Terrified squeak!)
Twilight Sparkle: Somewhat related: I discovered something new about my...unique biology just now, namely that there's a part of my memory that is eternal, enduring magic in its purest form. Wouldn't it be terrible if my physical brain were to be destroyed, and my consciousness were to retreat into that magical part of me because my corporeal body couldn't repair itself? In theory, I would be stuck in that final awareness, that terror state in the face of oncoming death, not knowing whether or not the ponies I care for deeply are about to face a similar fate with nothing I can do about it or even any way to know one way or another. It would also be lonely, cut off from every sense I had lived my entire life depending upon, left with nothing but panic and terror forever without knowing if that kind of torture would ever end. Of course, when my physical brain first kicked on without being connected to my magic, I would in theory remember none of that...until being reconnected to that magic, that is. At that point, who knows? The shock of suddenly remembering all of that at once might just obliterate any sanity I had left...in theory!
Starlight Glimmer: (Cries out as a black blade suddenly flicks through the air leaving a spiteful cut on her cheek)
Twilight Sparkle: But then again that's a stupid question isn't it? Of course nopony truly knows what it's like to die, because they stop existing immediately after doing so, and can therefore never truly recall the exact experience even if brought back, merely having to settle for the moments beforehand! So here's a much better question instead! (Left eye flashes briefly) Do you want this to be the last and worst time you will ever have? Because I have a last bit of restraint left telling me to take you in to face proper procedural justice for your crimes that, by the way, have nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with what you've done, and you are not going to like what happens next if you pass on this one last chance to just give up.

(Starlight suddenly vanishes only to reappear as she's stopped mid teleport by a purple magical field between herself and the cave, sending ripples outward from the impact point to reveal the field is actually a large cube with Twilight standing just outside.)
Twilight Sparkle: Pity. You really are quite accomplished, magically speaking, and obliterating such potential feels like such a waste. But I'll be more than adequately comforted knowing full well that mares like you...

S H O U L D  B E  B U R N I N G  I N  T A R T A R U S.

(A massive procession of floating black swords shoot straight for Starlight, whose eyes pop open wide before she dodges out of the way of the sharp blades as best as she's able, having to resort to making a few short teleports! The crystal octahedrons appear along the edges of the cube and part in their middle, each unleashing a beam of energy that Starlight has to fling herself to and fro to avoid!)
Twilight Sparkle: (Not even breaking a sweat as she laughs) That's exactly what I'd hoped you'd do! Let's make the next one a little harder shall we?
Starlight Glimmer: Harder?!
(The pattern continues, the increasingly exhausted Starlight dodging and teleporting around to avoid swords blades and octahedron death beams as the maniacal alicorn keeps tossing wave after wave at her. The unicorn captive in the cube manages to find several opportunities to test the strength of her prison with a blast of magical energy but it only ripples indifferently at her futile attempts at escape!)
Starlight Glimmer: (Now panting as her legs quiver to hold herself up following so long spent barely evading death, fatigue weighing heavily on her body as another wave of swords and crystals gather) (Her voice cracks with a half restrained sob as she asks her next question) Why are you doing this?!
Twilight Sparkle: (Smiles wider as her eye wreathe flares up with more prominent blue flames) Good question isn't it? Why is the alicorn doing this when she can just lop your head from your shoulders and be done with it? (Sends another wave at the tiring Starlight) Because right now I don't care for efficiency. I never have to stop doing this to rest Starlight, not ever! But you? You're going to succumb. Eventually your body and mind will wear thin and one or the other will snap. You'll be driven to the edge of exhaustion and be unable to do anything but scream and lie there helplessly as you die from a thousand cuts and burns! That, or you could always just stop playing this game for good; give up and throw yourself onto one of my blades to give yourself a quick death. Either choice will give me a memory I will cherish for thousands of years to come!
Starlight Glimmer: (Stumbles after dodging through yet another wave, the glow of her horn fading further as she tearfully struggles to her hooves gasping for breath) FUCK...YOU!!!
(Starlight flicks her head to the right as another wave comes in, conjuring all nine lances outside of the cube and skewering several through Twilight's head as the remainder puncture her neck at the spinal cord. The alicorn's neck falls limply to the side but that psychotic smile remains on her face as her legs remain steady and the next wave shoots through the cube all the same despite the devastating looking damage.)
Twilight Sparkle: (Laughs heartily as her magic starts leisurely pulling the lances out) Did you really think I was going to fucking bother dodging these toothpicks of yours? They can't break my concentration even a little!
Starlight Glimmer: (Finishes dodging and teleporting through the previous wave and then collapses, her horn going dark as she gasps desperately for air in her exhaustion, covered with several more cuts and burns from near collisions and direct hits) No...but it...made a good...distraction didn't it? (Looks past Twilight pointedly)
Twilight Sparkle: (Stops smiling and looks behind her to see Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Sugar Belle, Nightglider, Double Diamond, and even Party Favor glowing a menacing orange color that brightens more as each moment passes, looking at themselves with worry) (The wreath of blue flame around her left eye dissipates as the glowing stops and the pupil returns to normal, her hair falling back into its usual position and the dark patch of her coat brightening again as she turns on Starlight) A Living Bomb spell?! On all of them?!
Starlight Glimmer: (Struggles to her hooves and glares daggers at Twilight as she keeps panting for breath on still shaking legs) Encrypted even...and set to detonate...in about forty more seconds. I guarantee even YOU...are going to have to bring...all of your magical skills to bear...to dispel them all in time. Or....you could keep killing me...your call...Princess.
Twilight Sparkle: (Bites her lip angrily...and then lets the cube field dissipate as she sets to disarming the eight spells with protection just as complex as Starlight had promised) Not this shit again!!!
(Starlight strains until she can cobble together enough magic for a teleportation spell that lands her at the mouth of the cave before she limps inside as quickly as her exhausted, beaten body is able. She then takes another moment pooling her strength before a blast of magic collapses the entrance behind her, preventing all pursuit and leaving her ultimate fate unknown. Twilight doesn't bother to watch any of this, instead wiping the sweat from her brow as she concentrates, eyes closed, and horn glowing brightly, navigating the magic encryption, the seconds painfully ticking by as the magical charge building within her friends and the villagers draws closer to detonation! Finally, just as the orange light was about to render them little more than splotches on the ground, Twilight broke through the eight locks and dispelled Starlight's magic, the ponies all letting out a collective sigh of relief as the orange glow dissipates.)
Twilight Sparkle: Is everypony alright?
Pinkie Pie: Yep! (Puts some weight on her injured leg and immediately falls forward) Okay on second thought, define 'alright'.
Applejack: Ah gotcha sugarcube. (Helps her up) You gonna be fine 'til we can get ya to town and patch ya up proper?
Pinkie Pie: Mhm, the beam pretty much burned everything shut on the way through.
Fluttershy: (Sobbing with happiness as she holds onto her Rainbow Dash tightly)
Rainbow Dash: NEED...AIR...
Double Diamond: Nightglider got a little singed but otherwise we're fine.
Nightglider: Eh, it's just fur, it'll grow back.
Sugar Belle: And we even got Party Favor back! ...I think.
Party Favor: (Is now somehow holding a little celebratory flag in his hoof as he continues to lie there motionless)
Twilight Sparkle: Well the good news is that everypony's alive... (Glances over at Party Favor still lying on the ground with a smile on his face) ...mostly. The bad news is that I turned into a complete mad mare and let one of the most powerful unicorns I've ever met escape after giving her plenty of reason to want revenge on all of us.
Rainbow Dash: (Now able to breathe as Fluttershy has calmed down to a mere cuddling) Are you kidding me? After the last few days nopony's going to blame you for wanting to take your time with her!
Applejack: Ah've never seen you like that Twilight, and ah hope to never have to see ya like that again...but Rainbow's right. Ah can't see mahself havin' done much different if'n ah'd've suffered through what you did. Land's sake, ah can't even imagine how what you described would feel like and it's still probably gonna give me nightmares!
Pinkie Pie: Girls, listen. We're alive, Starlight's gone, and if that bridge ever comes up again, we'll cross it. But until then, I HAVE BEEN PARTY BLOCKED FOR THREE DAYS AND IF I DON'T GET TO BLOW A LOAD OF CONFETTI ABOUT SOMETHING I'M GOING TO FLIP MY SHIT OKAY?!

------{STATIC}------

(The village is now properly decorated for a proper celebration of everypony regaining their special talents, the streets full of genuine smiles as the denizens of that remote desert settlement come to know one another all over again in a joyous celebration!)
Pinkie Pie: (Leaning back relaxing on a bench against the side of a building with a lazy grin on her face and a sling around her bandaged foreleg) Ooohohohooooh that is sooooo much better.
Applejack: Hey uh...Pinkie? You alright?
Pinkie Pie: Hrm? Of course I am Applejack, I'm all fixed up, plus look at all those smiles!
Applejack: No, ah mean about yer friend Machete Mask. Ah didn't know much about him but you two looked like really good friends and ah imagine losin' him doesn't sit too well.
Pinkie Pie: Aww that's sweet Applejack, but don't worry about Machete Mask. He'll be back in a week or so!
Applejack: … (Hugs Pinkie Pie firmly)
Pinkie Pie: (Winces) LEG!
Applejack: (Releases her!) Sorry! Um...look, ah've been there too Pinkie. Ah've...really, really been there, where admittin' the truth hurts too much so ya take your time with it. So if ya need somepony to talk to, I'll be here alright? Heck, we'll all be here.
Pinkie Pie: I know silly! Now go have fun!
Applejack: (Smiles and nods in understanding before resuming her conversation with another nearby villager)
Buzz Kill: So uh...would you happen to be spending the night Miss Rarity? Or shall we go find a more private setting right now? (Waggles eyebrow suggestively)
Rarity: (Covers mouth to avoid spitting out drink before gracefully swallowing and setting her wine glass down on a nearby table) Oh dear...I'm sorry darling but...now just isn't a good time.
Buzz Kill: Oh...uh...that's alright, no rush and all! But just out of curiosity when would be a good time?
Rarity: (Looks away thoughtfully) Well...considering my schedule and many... (Looks Buzz Kill up and down) ...other factors...a good time would be some point after which both of us have died and long been forgotten...and the ponies that forgot about us have themselves died and long been forgotten...and the world ends...and the sun goes super nova. Some point after that would be ideal I should think.
Buzz Kill: (Ears drooping) O-oh...I...okay.
Rarity: Wonderful! Now I would greatly appreciate it if you would be so kind as to vacate my immediate vicinity for the duration of...ever. (Waves hoof dismissively)
Buzz Kill: (Nods sadly and moves away with head hanging low) Is this what I've been doing to ponies my whole life? ...I deserve this!
Applejack: (Frowning) Rarity!
Rarity: (Rolls eyes) Oh come now Applejack, if I actually honored even a tenth of such promises I've made I'd have a partner count that would make even Pinkie blush!
Applejack: Nopony's sayin' ya have to sleep with him, but ya don't gotta be such a bitch about it either!
Pinkie Pie: (Grabs his shoulder before he can get away) You, me, this bench-
Applejack and Rarity: PINKIE.
Pinkie Pie: -nearest empty room, right now. Game?
Buzz Kill: (Blinks in confusion a moment before clearing his throat awkwardly with a blush) Uh...didn't you say, and I quote, 'bite me'?
Pinkie Pie: (Half lidded grin) You can nibble me all you want if that's what does it for ya, stud!
Buzz Kill: Well uh...I...okay! Sure!
Pinkie Pie: Great! (Hops up onto his back and points for the empty holding cottage at the end of the village) Onward steed!

------{STATIC}------

(Twilight Sparkle watches Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy dance together with a smile from her spot at the edge of town watching everypony else have a good time. The sight brings the familiar warmth to her heart, but it does little to thaw the worries gripping her mind that refuse to let her celebrate with them. No matter how much assurance she got, it did nothing to refute the basic truth that was already seared into her mind: she had turned into a true monster in a moment of weakness and beaten down a helpless opponent for the sheer fun of it. That thrill of freedom, the complete escape from restraint, the mental peace of a rage that had somehow boiled over into a serene stability; all of it had been amazing and it scared her to the core. She brought a hoof up to her eye, the sensation of that wreathe of blissful fire still fresh in her mind. The purple unicorn sighed heavily, looked up at the late morning sun for a moment, and then started to walk back toward the festivities seeking distraction. She would talk to Celestia about this of course...but something told her there was another simple truth at work that was easy to understand.)
Twilight Sparkle: (Talking to herself) For every dawn a dusk...for every dream a nightmare...

...for every noon a midnight.

Pinkie Pie: (Still riding on Buzz Kill as they approach the cottage next to which Twilight is moping) Hey Twilight, Party Favor wants to know if you want anything to drink!
Twilight Sparkle: What?
(Twilight turns around to see Party Favor lying there with a cup laden drink tray lying on top of him as he maintains that same deathly grin, having appeared out of nowhere whilst she wasn't looking.)
Twilight Sparkle: (BACKING AWAY WITH SOME HASTE) WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!

------{❄☟✡🏱☜☼☞☜👍❄☟✌❄☼☜👎✌❄❄☟☜☜☠👎⚐☞✌☹☹}------
Somewhat Tarnished S5E2-2
The season 5 opener was actually one of the more interesting ones for me. This marks the first point where the major enemy pitted against the mane six isn't a force of nature, or some super villain, or both, but rather a (somewhat) regular pony who carries with them an idea that categorically opposes their very core virtues. Though her magic was obviously considerable, Starlight Glimmer's true weapon against Twilight and her friends was the ability to instill within others a conviction to carry through with her teachings even when it came time to engage in morally abhorrent tactics because her ideas were just so right! In addition, even though manipulating ponies was kind of already Discord's thing, the fact that she's just another pony adds a unique complication to it in the fact that the mane six (in show canon at least) are not inclined to just blow her the fuck away like any other super powered villain, else I imagine the rainbow power would've come out of the bag right fucking quick after they got their cutie marks back. On top of introducing a unique kind of villain, this premiere also did the usual thing where the show deals with surprisingly dark topics I seem to continually assume they'd never deal with because...yeah...they were totally locked in a room and deprived of food and water until they submitted to the doctrine of the cutie markless cult, holy shit! So while I wouldn't call this season opener the best really, it still rates pretty high up there for taking the show in an interesting direction.

If there had to be one thing I'd criticize here it's how damn quickly everything fell apart for Starlight Glimmer in the end. For the entire time it's demonstrated quite clearly that the villagers respect and trust Starlight, and that Starlight is also a talented manipulator that can poke holes through emotional weak spots to get ponies to do as she wishes...and yet her response to her secret getting exposed is to immediately get very suspiciously angry? Why didn't she try a last ditch appeal to sympathy whilst she was explaining the reality of the situation? The villagers would've probably eaten up some kind of martyrdom routine and Twilight would've been screwed out of a village worth of new allies! It just seems really weird that a pony whom the plot is trying to pass off as a master manipulator would so very suddenly resort to overt anger and violence at the first real complication to her plan. Shouldn't she have at least had one layer of backup plan to fall back on? She's had years out there to think about it! Then again they have to keep everything to within spans of 22 minutes or so and I can write all I want so...yeah.

Seeya next time, happy season 6 everypony!
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LAST TIME...

Twilight Sparkle: (Standing in cutie mark vault cave) This is probably fine. (IMPALED THROUGH EYEBALL WITH THE STAFF OF SAMENESS)

------{STATIC}------

Somewhat Tarnished: Season Five
Roll of the DIE

------{STATIC}------

Pinkie Pie: (Sighs in boredom as she lies there in the house at the end of the row idly circling her hoof on the floor)

(Front door flies open)
Pinkie Pie: (Jumps up) Oooh! You're back! How'd it go?!
(Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash are then booted inside with equality symbols in place of their cutie marks.)
Pinkie Pie: (Ears lower) Oh.
(Twilight's corpse is unceremoniously dumped inside with a dull thud landing with limbs lifelessly splayed about)
Pinkie Pie: (Backs away a step, eyes widening) OH.
Starlight Glimmer: (Points red crystalline Staff of Sameness at her) Yoink!
Pinkie Pie: (Cutie mark lifts off her flank) Hey! (Grabs it) (Is dragged as it floats toward the door and loses her grip on it as she trips over Twilight's body) (Her pink color fades, her mane and tail flatten, and an equality cutie mark appears on her flank) Aww...

------{STATIC}------

Starlight Glimmer: (Twirling staff next to her and smiling as she deposits Pinkie's cutie mark in a jar alongside the other five that are levitating overhead of her) Excellent work everypony! We'll soon have five more converts whose notoriety will doubtlessly win us the hearts and minds of ponies across Equestria!
(The assembled crowd cheers!)
Double Diamond: I'll get them some hay and water for the equalization process ahead!
Starlight Glimmer: That won't be necessary.
Double Diamond: Oh alri-wait, why not? Water is important out here in the desert, Starlight.
Starlight Glimmer: (Stops twirling the staff and looks at him with a more somber expression) I'm aware. However, Twilight Sparkle was a princess, and her friends are famous far and wide. I foresee several ponies extremely high up the chain noticing their absence soon. The Staff of Sameness was able to defend us from a single alicorn, but as for the combined wrath of the three remaining who will doubtlessly come looking for her...I have my doubts. To tell you the truth Double Diamond, I've taken something of a gamble. We need those five to convert to our way of life more than we've needed anypony else to do so. Once they have accepted that ours is the one true way of friendship, they'll be happy to say they are here of their own will, and that Twilight Sparkle left to unknown parts of the world for...I don't know, we'll make something up.
Double Diamond: But...what if they die of thirst before they realize the error of their ways?
Starlight Glimmer: Then we'll bury the bodies so far out into the desert that nopony will ever find them and say we never saw them.
Double Diamond: That seems like a bit much don't you think?
Starlight Glimmer: You're right, I do think. That's my job, and your job is to do what I think of, understood Double Diamond?
Double Diamond: ... (Nods silently)
Starlight Glimmer: Good. I know this is a bit extreme for us, but now that you understand what's at stake I hope there will be no further questions. Now, carry on.
Double Diamond: (Sighs) (Starts walking sadly)

Starlight Glimmer: Wait...Double Diamond?
Double Diamond: (Looks back, perking up hopefully)
Starlight Glimmer: Get the loudest noise tapes we have and play them at night in that house. Sleep deprivation will accelerate the process.

------{STATIC}------

(The five remaining mares await their fate in the house at the end of the row, the internal speaker spewing a steady stream of propaganda.)
Fluttershy: (Softly sobbing in a corner with Rarity holding her)
Pinkie Pie: (Calmly reading a book with a distant look in her eyes)
Applejack: (Trying and failing to break down the door with repeated bucks)
Rainbow Dash: (Angrily pacing back and forth with tears in her eyes, periodically glancing over to the sheet covered ali-corpse in the corner)



Rainbow Dash: GRAAAH! (Flips a coffee table and takes to the air) This is just BUCKING GREAT, I can fly about as well as Applejack, Applejack is about as strong as Rarity, Rarity is about as discerning as Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie's about as calm and focused as Twilight, and Twilight's about as useful as Fluttershy, who shouldn't even bother crying because hey, we're all 'equal' now! So at least SHE got what she wanted!
Applejack: Rainbow Dash calm down you're like a...
(Applejack's cutie mark pulses.)
Applejack: ...thing when...screw it I'm too depressed for this shit. (Sits down ineffectually in front of door)

Fluttershy: (Silently removes Rarity's hooves from around her and stands up, walking over to Rainbow Dash glaring up at her)
Rarity: (Mascara running down face) Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: (Darts up and grabs Rainbow Dash in a headlock and drags her down to the floor and over towards Twilight's body)
Rainbow Dash: HEY! What're you-
Fluttershy: (Throws back the sheet and points to it while boring a hole in Rainbow Dash's skull with her eyes) IS THIS WHAT YOU THINK I WANTED RAINBOW DASH?! BECAUSE IF IT IS YOU CAN JUST FUCK RIGHT OFF DO YOU HEAR ME?!
Rainbow Dash: (Dumbstruck) I...I...
Fluttershy: (Practically shoves her away) (Turns back to Twilight and is wracked with a few more sobs as she puts her hoof gently on Twilight's cold lifeless cheek and then pulls the sheet back over her and simply sits there weeping)
Rainbow Dash: ... (Her wings and eyes both droop with guilt before she walks up and attempts to hug Fluttershy) (She's pushed away again once, before a second attempt has Fluttershy pausing and then hugging her back tightly)

Applejack: (Strikes the door with her hoof again before taking her hat off and throwing it to the ground) It ain't FAIR! It...why'd THAT kill her dang it?! We've seen her come back from WAY worse than that fancy stick through her eye!

------{STATIC}------

Twilight Sparkle: (Reading a book on a picnic blanket with Rarity and Applejack, the trio enjoying the afternoon beneath a tree on top of a grassy hill shortly after Twilight's ascension into an alicorn) Aah, I'm so glad the coronation is over.
Applejack: Heh, I'm just glad to not be makin' dresses anymore.
Rarity: Well that's two of us that are glad you're not making dresses then. And Twilight I fail to see how having the entirety of Canterlot fawning over you is something to be glad to have over darling!
Twilight Sparkle: You know, a while ago I would've felt the same way but after so long living like a pony WITHOUT aspirations of megalomania it feels weird suddenly... (Looks up from her book and squints before smiling) Oh hey Pinkie Pie's running toward us!
Applejack: (Glances over) Wow, she must be excited about somethin', she is movin'!
Twilight Sparkle: (Waves happily) Hi Pinkie Pi-
Pinkie Pie: (LEAPS INTO THE AIR AND ROUNDHOUSE KICKS THE ALICORN'S HEAD CLEAN OFF HER NECK SPLATTERING BLOOD ALL OVER THE THREE REMAINING MARES AS THE SEVERED HEAD HITS THE TREE WITH A CRACK OF BONE)
Applejack: WHOA! WHOAHOA! WHAT THE FUCK?!
Rarity: (SCREAMS AND FRANTICALLY PUSHES HERSELF BACKWARD AWAY FROM THE SEVERED HEAD!)
Applejack: (TACKLES PINKIE TO THE GROUND) WHAT THE SAM HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Rarity: (INHALES) (SCREAMS MORE!)
Pinkie Pie: (Raised eyebrow) What?
Applejack: (SHAKING PINKIE IN A RAGE) WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WHAT?!' YOU JUST KILLED TWILIGHT!!!
Rarity: (INHALES) (STARTS SCREAMING AGAIN BUT IS CUT OFF BY WRETCHING)
Pinkie Pie: Oh that?
Applejack: 'OH THAT'?! FUCK YOU, AT LEAST TELL ME WHY!!!
Pinkie Pie: (Cheerfully) She asked me to!
Applejack: (Blank look of confusion) Pardon?
Rarity: (VOMITS) (FAINTS)
Twilight Sparkle: (Unbeknownst to the other mares, her severed head was being enveloped by purple crystalline growth that was matched in size by a similar growth that was emerging from her neck stump) (The crystals shatter, revealing that her severed head had now been relocated back to its proper spot seemingly unharmed) (Her body twitches a few times as everything reconnects and she gets back to her hooves while coughing up a few bloody crystalline shards then stops to clear her throat)
Applejack: ... (Drops Pinkie Pie in an even deeper state of confusion) Pardon?!
Twilight Sparkle: Uuugh. (Pops her neck) Okay, Pinkie? That was terrible timing. I think Rarity's scarred for life. But uh, since that happened all the same...how long was I out?
Pinkie Pie: (Excitedly) Only like ten seconds!
Twilight Sparkle: (Gasp!) Wow, I thought a decapitation would take at least an hour! Let me write this down! (Conjures a notepad into existence and starts jotting down notes as Applejack continues to be dumbstruck and Rarity continues to be unconscious)

------{STATIC}------

Pinkie Pie: (Still reading) It was the staff.
(Everypony silently turns toward her)
Pinkie Pie: (Turns a page) To be more specific, Twilight's special talent was magic. When the staff took the cutie mark, and therefore her special talent, she had insufficient magic to regenerate. So now we have a dead alicorn.

Applejack: (Picks up hat somberly) You seem pretty stoic about it.
Pinkie Pie: Every since I lost my cutie mark it's been...quiet. All the little metaphorical voices in my head telling me to engage in my usual behavior are gone. The only thing left in here is the intellect responsible for all those sudden moments of clarity and insight out of nowhere, because those had nothing to do with my special party talents. These books might look like they only have equality signs in them but it's actually micro text. I have been reading it. That is how much I can focus now and IT IS FREAKING ME OUT!
(Pinkie's equality mark pulses)
Pinkie Pie: Or not. (Closes book and gets another)

------{24 HOURS LATER}------

Starlight Glimmer: Good morning everypony! Are we all here and assembled? (Scrutinizes the ranks of her villager ponies to see nopony is missing) Excellent! Our new friends have had a full 24 hours to consider our offer, and we are gathered here this morning to welcome them into our warm, loving community! Guards, please unlock the door and escort our friends out!
(The guards nod before unlocking the door and retrieving the ponies within, forcing a strung out, tired looking Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack to stand before the assembled villagers)
Starlight Glimmer: Good morning friends! We've come to ask if any of you have seen the light and are ready to join us in true friendship! There is so much of it here to take joy in and share once you realize that your cutie marks were only holding you back!
Double Diamond: We have a wonderful welcoming ceremony where the village bands together and builds you your own cotta-
Applejack: You took our cutie marks.
Fluttershy: You locked us in this house.
Rainbow Dash: With no food or water!
Pinkie Pie: And loud marching music playing so we can't sleep!
Rarity: And the decor is- (cutie mark pulses) -acceptable!
Starlight Glimmer: Yes yes this has all been rather harsh, but it's to be expected. You five were so indoctrinated by Twilight Sparkle that the possibility of your version of friendship being false could never have occurred to you! But we've broken down those barriers for you. You say that I killed your friend, but what sort of friend was she to have espoused so devotedly a flawed ideology that would have equine kind divided and at one another's throats? What I actually did was free you from her darkness. You five mares are now free to witness and embrace the truth along with us happy few who I hope will become a happy many! So I ask again, do any of you this morning wish to accept our invitation, and know our joy? (Extends hoof invitingly)

(Starlight Glimmer is hit in the face by a ball of spittle)

Starlight Glimmer: (Eye twitch)
Applejack: (Wipes her mouth off) Ya'll would never understand how dark Twilight Sparkle was.
Rainbow Dash: But so's the sky at night!
Rarity: And the stars shine all the brighter for it!
Starlight Glimmer: (Wipes face off) Well then I suppose we'll see you five in the morning.
Crowd: Aww...
Starlight Glimmer: But bear in mind you get one free morning, the rest are going to cost you.
Fluttershy: W...what do you mean?
Starlight Glimmer: I mean that tomorrow morning I'm leaving this house with either a convertee...or a corpse.

Starlight Glimmer: (Smirks) Oh and just so you know, Twilight doesn't count.
Rainbow Dash: (Lunges for her but can only flap fruitlessly against Applejack grabbing her tail in her mouth) WHEN I GET A HOLD OF YOU I'M BREAKING YOUR HORN OFF AND SHOVING IT DOWN YOUR THROAT LADY!!!

------{STATIC}------

Rainbow Dash: Why did you stop me A.J.?! She deserved to get a thrashing and you know it!
Applejack: Ah know you're upset, we all are, but this ain't the time to go off the hinges at her. She's surrounded by ponies that'll have her back in a fight and without our cutie marks we just ain't fit to be fightin' off that many at once.
Rainbow Dash: So then what? We're just biding our time unable to do anything?
Applejack: Ah...ah don't know. All ah know is that right now we got time, and if we'd tried to pick a fight back there that'd been the end of it. We've got to figure somethin' out before tommorrow mornin'.
(A bird lands in the window and looks around curiously before it starts pecking around for any bits of food it can find)
Fluttershy: Oh! I can get a message out! (Trots up) Little birdy, could you go get us help? (Cutie mark pulses)

Bird: (Looks up and chirps in confusion) [Subtitle: Are you talking to me?]
Fluttershy: Oh um...maybe he just doesn't know where to fly! (Cutie mark pulses) It's Ponyville, we have friends there! Oh, but Ponyville is so far away from here...just fly to the nearest place that isn't this place and has ponies! Or...or a nearby forest, with big strong animals!
Bird: ... (Chirps in enduring confusion) [Subtitle: I'm a BIRD not a horse, why are you neighing at me?]
Fluttershy: Oh dear um maybe I'm just...going too fast! Yes, um (Cutie mark pulses) ...please...fly...and...get...us...help.
Bird: (Chirps angrily) [Subtitle: Oh, right, just neigh slower, because the problem isn't the language, nooooo, it's that little bird is too STUPID right?! I'm out.] (Flies off)
Fluttershy: (Tearing up) I don't even understand tweets anymore!
Pinkie Pie: (Tapping away boredly at a smart phone) I don't think anypony ever understood tweets.
Rarity: Um...excuse me if I sound somewhat LIVID darling but IS THAT A PHONE YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO MENTION UNTIL JUST NOW?!
Pinkie Pie: Relax Rarara-ra Ra-rara I already tried and all I can get with this signal is various social media sites on the ponynet.
Rarity: ...never call me Rarara-ra Ra-rara again.
Rainbow Dash: How do websites where the primary focus is communicating with other ponies that could rescue us only rate as 'all you can get'?!
Pinkie Pie: Because nopony on the ponynet wants to help anypony Dashie, they only want to appear like they want to in order make themselves look good with minimal effort. I made a post leaving various actionable details about our situation, including exact coordinates, and all anypony did was post about how wrong they thought this was and how they would show solidarity with our plight by confining themselves to their rooms and posting a selfie of themselves locking the door. The trending hashtag is '#RoomStuckForJustice'.

------{24 HOURS LATER}------

(The two guards unlock the door and the five emerge looking even more bleary eyed and dry mouthed from another whole day without sleep or water. The assembled crowd is still smiling but otherwise looks a bit uneasy about how things are progressing as Starlight Glimmer stands at the lead bearing the ruby red and sharp Staff of Sameness.)
Starlight Glimmer: Good morning ladies! I hope you enjoyed another night of wisdom played at 120 decibels!
Double Diamond: (Walks up holding a cup) Your water, Starlight.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh thank you Double Diamond. (Takes an excessively long time draining the cup in one long drink right in front of the dehydrated mares before her)
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity: (LEER IN A SMOLDERING MIX OF BOTH LONGING AND RAGE)
Starlight Glimmer: Mmm, how wonderfully refreshing. (Gives the cup back to Double Diamond and then approaches them with the staff spinning in the air at her side only for it to pierce down into the ground beside her menacingly after she takes her last step) So, my dear friends, our invitation stands. There is no reason that this occasion should be marked by more bloodshed instead of more friendship!
(The mane five just stand there glaring, save for Fluttershy who begins looking a bit anxious)



Starlight Glimmer: (Sighs) So be it... (Points staff at Pinkie Pie) Eeny... (Points staff at Rarity) Meeny... (Points staff at Applejack) Miney... (Points staff at Rainbow Dash) Mo. (Brings staff back and-
Fluttershy: (Jumps in front of Rainbow Dash) WAIT!
(Everypony pauses and looks toward her)
Fluttershy: I'll...I'll join you.
Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash: WHAT?!
Starlight Glimmer: (Lowers the staff) You will? Truly?
Fluttershy: Y...yes. Truly.
(The crowd cheers with glee as the staff regresses to its safer wooden form)
Starlight Glimmer: Welcome to the village Fluttershy! Everypony! We have a new friend! Come, stand among us!
(Fluttershy looks back at her friends to see tired, perplexed, betrayed looks in return)
Fluttershy: (Tearing up) I'm sorry...I don't want any more of you to die. (Shuts her eyes against the tears and starts walking toward the crowd, but is stopped by Starlight Glimmer holding the staff in front of her)
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, silly me, it just slipped my mind that there was some business to tend to before we leave your friends to be safely locked up and begin setting you up to live here.
Fluttershy: But...you said the rest would be safe if one of us-
Starlight Glimmer: Converted, yes I remember, my new friend. But simply saying you've converted is easy. You'd go much farther in convincing me of your sincerity by helping the cause directly as your first act...by telling me who told you and your former friends about the cutie mark vault.
Fluttershy: (Gulps) Um...I'm sorry but, I couldn't tell you Starlight, I don't know everypony's names.
Starlight Glimmer: Of course you don't! (Chuckles) How could one possibly have memorized so many names so quickly after all? (Sidles up next to her) Which is why I've had everypony assemble here. All you have to do is point to the one you recognize, it couldn't be simpler! (Points the staff demonstratively)
(Nightglider, Sugar Belle, and Party Favor continue smiling but look around nervously)
Fluttershy: (Sweating) Uh well...you see, it was pretty dark and I couldn't really make out their fa-
(The staff converts back to its dangerous crystalline form right next to Fluttershy)
Fluttershy: (Squeaks and flinches away slightly)
Starlight Glimmer: It's either the traitor amongst us, or that rainbow maned friend that seemed to set you off so effectively.
Fluttershy: (Crying) I...I...I-
Party Favor: STOP!
(The crowd gasps and parts for Party Favor to make his way through)
Starlight Glimmer: Party Favor?
Party Favor: It was me! I told them about the vault. I was curious of the strangers, and talked with them, and during our conversation I carelessly mentioned wanting to see my cutie mark again and where we kept all of them.
Starlight Glimmer: So it was you, and you alone?
Party Favor: Yes, I was the only one to talk with the- (THE STAFF BRUTALLY DESCENDS UPON HIM, PIERCING THROUGH THE TOP OF HIS SKULL AND PINNING HIM TO THE GROUND)
(The crowd lets out a cry of fright while Nightglider and Sugar Belle stand there with smiles having turned into mouths agape with shock and horror as Party Favor soon stops suffering post mortem spasming)
Starlight Glimmer: Calm yourselves my friends! Though what I have done is unpleasant, it is the best for our village! Let us remember this not as the day we lost a friend, but as the day we gained a friend and ejected from our midst a traitor who was never one of us in the first place!
(The villagers murmur amongst one another but soon seem to calm themselves having found the change of perspective sufficiently placating)

------{STATIC}------

Fluttershy: (Walking beside Starlight Glimmer) Wow they- (stops to let out a few dry sounding coughs) -certainly have placed a lot of trust in you here Starlight.
Starlight Glimmer: Truly, a life of equality is not the easiest choice, though it is the right one. We are at odds with the rest of Equestria, and even after joining our ranks some may even be tempted back to the way of life into which such a corrupt society had indoctrinated them. I do not hold it against them but...certain measures must be taken. Speaking of which! (She motions over to the water pump and the large trough of cool, clear, fresh water that was there to greet the village's new initiate as they rounded the bend)
Fluttershy: (Goes wide eyed and bolts for the trough like a mare possessed before dunking her head under and drinking so long the surrounding ponies start to look worried prior to retracting her head and taking a deep breath crying with equal parts joy and sorrow) IT'S SO COOL AND CLEAN WHY CAN'T MY FRIENDS BE HERE TO DRINK IT WITH MEEEE-HEE-HEEEEE?! (Sits there weeping a few moments before dunking her head back under)
Starlight Glimmer: (Smirking) When you're done we'll get you set up in the guest room of my house until we finish building your own. Does that sound good?
Fluttershy: (Nods head without bringing it out of the water)
Starlight Glimmer: Splendid.

------{STATIC}------

(Applejack looks out the window as the sun continues to set on the horizon, hours and hours after Fluttershy's abandoning them. Pinkie Pie is reading yet another book as Rarity tries in futility to read one of the books she's already finished, and Rainbow simply sits against one of the walls with a blank stare on her face.)
Rarity: (Squinting hard) (Voice coming out a bit strained from enduring lack of water) Pinkie how can you read this? It just looks like two black stripes to me and it's proving ill suited to distract me from all this slowly dying of dehydration in the desert with a water pump right outside while my friend rots in the corner!
Pinkie Pie: (Eyes still moving as she reads) Perhaps it wouldn't be a problem if you weren't so completely ruled by your emotional state to the point that you can't use the more intense focusing ability of your own brain.

Rarity: (Coughs) I liked you better when talking to you made me feel smart.

Applejack: (While continuing to look out the window) There uh...there ain't no hope is there?
(Rarity looks up a moment during the ensuing uncomfortable silence but says nothing)
Applejack: Ah mean...them villagers helpin' is our only hope right now. But they watched Starlight KILL one of 'em and just swallowed her excuse wholesale. (Eyes start tearing up) How are we supposed to convince 'em Starlight's bad if they don't even care if she kills one of 'em...or anypony for that matter? How...how do ya fight that?

Rainbow Dash: I'll go next.
Applejack: (Turns back) What?
Rainbow Dash: Tomorrow morning. I'll go next. Fluttershy should have some familiar company, you know?
Pinkie Pie: (Turns page without looking up from book) We should all probably just go tomorrow. If we have no options then sitting in here dying of thirst doesn't make any sense.
Applejack: (Suddenly flaring up with anger) What, so we just reward her for killin' Twilight and Party Favor?!
Rainbow Dash: Weren't you already the one who didn't want to fight anyway AJ?!
Applejack: (Turns and stomps toward Rainbow Dash) There's a difference between pickin' your fights and throwin' in the towel Rainbow! Are you just gonna sit there and say we tell Starlight her tactics are effective by just cavin' in and doin' what she wants?!
Rainbow Dash: Applejack, we're either going to crack and do what she wants, or do your stupid suggestion and die on principle, and then she can just get rid of us and make up whatever story she wants. Nopony needs to tell her that her tactics are effective, she already knows! That's why she uses them! There's no towel to throw in here! There wasn't even a contest! We got sucker punched and now we have no Twilight and no cutie marks! We lose, and you know that means something coming from the mare that turned a stupid game of horse shoes into that iron pony competition just to save face! You're the one who said there wasn't any hope anyway!
Applejack: ... (Breaks her glare away from Rainbow Dash and skulks back over to the door to give it another ineffective buck before snarling and punching it with her front hoof and then sitting back down in front of it with head hanging) Maybe ah was just hopin' somepony would disagree with me.
Rainbow Dash: Too bad then...turns out you were just as sensible as ever when you said that.

Rainbow Dash: Hey, Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: (Without looking up from her reading) Hrm?
Rainbow Dash: Since I'll be going in the morning, could you please at least explain why that one stallion is named Stab Wound when he-
Twilight Sparkle: (Her entire body gives a brief spasm beneath the sheet followed by a deep gasp and a scream) KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
(Everypony immediately jumps back in surprise and are shocked back into silence wondering if they're seeing things)
Twilight Sparkle: (Still trembling though not as strongly as she audibly panics) I...I CAN'T SEE...IS ANYPONY THERE?!
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: Twilight!
(Rarity levitates the sheet off prior to all of them rushing over)
Twilight Sparkle: (Her pierced eye and the holes in the back of her head have been covered over with a small amount of purple crystal but she still looks plenty disheveled and corpse-like despite speaking and shaking uncontrollably as she looks up blinking away the sudden light in confusion)
Rarity: YE GODDESS SHE'S HIDEOUS!
Applejack: As though you'd look any better after bein' dead for two days!
Twilight Sparkle: Wh...what happened? Where are-DEAD FOR TWO DAYS?!
Applejack: Ya don't remember?!
Rainbow Dash: Starlight Glimmer turned her staff into some red spear thing and nailed you right through the eye!
Applejack: Yep, ya've spent the last two days after that at room temperature sugarcube.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, massive brain trauma, probably why I don't remember that.
Rarity: That ruffian of a mare proceeded to lock all of us in this- (cutie mark pulses) -passably decorated abode, and we've spent the last two days without sleep, food, or water while she tries to deprive us into compliance!
Pinkie Pie: Also she's going to kill one of us for each day she doesn't get a convertee. (Licks hoof then turns a page)
Twilight Sparkle: (Seemingly unable to lift head off the ground) Was...was that Pinkie Pie? She sounds so indifferent! And Rarity had little to no stupid opinion about the interior decorating! And Rainbow Dash isn't hovering for no reason! And...and...what does Applejack usually do?
Applejack: Uh....ah can't buck the door down? Or make countryisms?
Twilight Sparkle: Right that thing that matters and that other thing that never mattered because the writer can't think of any so you never said them.

------{STATIC}------

Chappy: (Slumped in defeat in front of laptop) I was born to country folk and grew up in the mountains WHY CAN'T I THINK OF A SINGLE ONE TO SAVE MY LIFE?!

------{STATIC}------

Twilight Sparkle: And all this means...means...it...it indicates...is indicative of...

Twilight Sparkle: Something. (Furrows brow in thought)
(Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash exchange worried looks while Pinkie Pie turns another page silently.)

Twilight Sparkle: WAIT THE CUTIE MARKS!
(Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash let out sighs of relief.)
Twilight Sparkle: Yes! It's something to do with the cutie marks!

Twilight Sparkle: Somethin-
Rainbow Dash: (Gripping own skull in frustration) OH MY GOD TWILIGHT OUR CUTIE MARKS ARE GONE! STARLIGHT STOLE THEM!
Twilight Sparkle: Sheeeeee WHAT?! (Gasps!) That explains everything! I've been dead for two days because it takes my alicorn regeneration that long to fix even just THIS much with only a blank flank unicorn's magical capacity! Also, I say 'this much' because right now it seems like I can do little else besides move enough oxygen to be conscious.
Applejack: So that twitchin' ain't you?
Twilight Sparkle: No, I can't feel anything, which is an issue of concern because it means the next paaaaaaaaAAAAAAAART IS GOING TO START HURTING LIKE UNHOLY TARTARUS HOLY FUCK! (Grits teeth, tearing up)
Rarity: Goodness what's wrong darling?!
Twilight Sparkle: IMAGINE THE WORST CRAMP YOU CAN EVER HAVE, MULTIPLY IT BY A HUNDRED AND SHOOT IT THROUGH YOUR EVERYTHING, AND THEN ADD IN THE FEELING OF WHITE HOT NEEDLES GETTING PUSHED THROUGH EVERY NERVE IN YOUR BODY, BUT THE WORST PART IS THAT THIS IS ACTUALLY THE BEST THING THAT COULD BE HAPPENING!!!
Rainbow Dash: How is THIS the best thing that could be happening?!
Twilight Sparkle: I HAVE SPENT THE LAST TWO DAYS AS A COLD MEATSACK OF FAILED ORGANS, COAGULATED BLOOD, AND CONGEALED GREASE. COMING BACK FROM THAT WAS NEVER GOING TO BE EASY RAINBOW DASH!!!
Pinkie Pie: Stop worrying Dashie she'll be fine. (Turns page, apathetic to the screaming)
Applejack: (Frowning with concern) Well...is there anything we can do to make it even the least bit easier Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: (Lies there trembling with eyes shut tightly, remaining silent a moment before speaking) I...GUESS...I guess I could -GURGH- use a hhhrrrrNNNNNGGGBLANKET OR SOMETHING to help raise my core tempeRATURE!!!
Pinkie Pie: There aren't any blankets. Starlight only gave us the one sheet to cover you. I was surprised she didn't just make us have to look at you the entire time after everything else she's done. (Turns a page)
Applejack: (Drags the sheet back over Twilight's body) Still better'n nothin'. (Slips beneath the sheet and presses up against her side) Ain't like we're lackin' in heat sources in this room either.
Rainbow Dash: (Slips beneath the sheets and presses against her other side, covering Twilight with a wing) Just try not to spasm too hard okay Twi?
Twilight Sparkle: NO PROMISES-AAAAUUUUGH DAMN IT that hangover I got when Discord instantly sobERED ME UP FROM A FIFTH OF- HHHRRRNNK -WHISKEY was like a full body orgASM COMPARED TO THIS!
Applejack: I'd be much obliged if ya'd refrain from mentioning orgasms of any type while I'm cuddled up against a corpse.
Rainbow Dash: You ARE still really cold and clammy.
Twilight Sparkle: Duly no- (CRINGE) -OOOOOOTED!

Twilight Sparkle: Wait a second where's Fluttershy?!

------{STATIC}------

(The village is quiet in the ensuing night, with little to nothing in the way of talking or hoof steps to cut out the sound of the desert winds. The peace is slightly disrupted by the emergence of a soot covered yellow pegasus from the chimney of the house at the end of the lane who then looks around in frightened caution before shaking herself off and revealing a knife gripped in her mouth which she spits out into her hoof after hovering down to the roof.)
Fluttershy: Oh my goodness, maybe this is a bad idea. I should just leave this knife here where it won't kill anypony and go get our cutie marks from the vault...but then Starlight Glimmer will just beat us down again, especially without... (Grimaces and wipes a tear away with a quiet sob before taking a deep breath and continuing to very stealthily talk to herself) Well maybe we don't have to fight Starlight? (Looks hopeful briefly) We can just get our cutie marks back and... (Her expression quickly fades again) ...abandon all the nice ponies...with no way of knowing how many of them agree with Starlight and how many are here because they're just as scared as I am right now.
(She hiccups and wipes her eyes again, tears still gathering before she quietly flies down to the ground floor window. She peeks in and then shrinks back with a small squeak as Starlight Glimmer lets Double Diamond in at the front door.)
Double Diamond: I brought the visitors' cutie marks like you requested Starlight.
Starlight Glimmer: Good work Double Diamond, I can always count on you to get the job done...although this was a simple fetch quest so I don't know how it could have possibly been bungled, now that I think of it. (Levitates the crate of jars containing the cutie marks of the mane six and levitates it into the house with her)
Double Diamond: I don't quite understand why though, did we not... (gulps nervously) ...um, expose the traitor this morning?
Starlight Glimmer: (Sighs) I'm sorry to say that I suspect Party Favor was not the only one...you see, dissent doesn't spring out of nowhere. Odds are quite likely that he was only one of a group of ponies that have let their thoughts stray in such a dangerous direction. Hopefully seeing the consequences will deter them from any further action, and they will quietly resume their loyal adherence to our true path without any additional drastic measures on my part.
Double Diamond: (Somewhat nervous at the mention of said 'drastic measures') Oh...yes, I see, we uh...wouldn't want any more of that would we?
Starlight Glimmer: Indeed we do not! But in any case, I would simply feel better keeping watch of such important cutie marks myself until things are not in such a dangerous state of flux. Get some sleep Double Diamond, I will see you tomorrow when we gather at the holding cottage.
Double Diamond: (Nods) Goodnight Starlight. (Hurries out of there as Starlight begins taking the cutie marks upstairs)
Fluttershy: (Ducks beneath the window) This is terrible! Now there's no way I can get our cutie marks back without...DEALING with her... (Shivers with a tearful whimper before she flutters silently up to the second floor master bedroom window) It's okay...you've done this before, you can...do it again. Just wait until she's asleep...and then aim for the throat to make it quick...she doesn't have to suffer like Mo-
Starlight Glimmer: (Tucks the jars away in a drawer with a lock and key) And with that taken care of I can now enjoy my nightly relaxing shower with the bathroom door open. (Sashays into the bathroom)
Fluttershy: Um...okay, I don't know why she just said that out loud to nopony or why she needs to leave the door open but-
(Shower noises)
Fluttershy: (Blushes) Oh my, um, maybe I shouldn't be watching this...I mean it's not like she's going to go to sleep in there or anything.
(Starlight humming in the shower)
Fluttershy: And I'm certainly not learning anything valuable just...sitting here...on her roof... (Blushes darker and bites lip) ...watching her shower...with her curvy soft pink rump facing toward me...with water dripping off of it...and- (Gasps but covers her mouth to contain the sound, dropping the knife and sending it clattering across the roof and down to the ground below)
Starlight Glimmer: (Pauses, turns off the shower and then emerges from the bathroom with a curious frown and a towel on her back covering her flanks) (She looks out the window and sees nothing, but then opens it and peers out, squinting into the darkness a moment before shrugging and closing the window) Could have sworn I'd heard something... (Proceeds to towel off a bit and then walk downstairs) Ought to take a look around just in case.
Fluttershy: (Emerges from nook below the window with a furrowed brow) Oh...that...lying...meanie! I don't know whether to be mad or just be happy I don't have to murder somepony. (Wipes another tear from her eye) As soon as she comes back upstairs I'm going to sneak back into my room and...hit my pillow so hard! (Her expression softens and turns guilty) But then what did that pillow ever do to me? Hitting it's not fair, and I'm still getting over that poor vase in the spa. I was out of control! (Flies back over to the unlocked guest bedroom window)
Starlight Glimmer: (Opens her front door and looks out) What the... (Levitates a knife off the ground, examining it closely to see that it is indeed hers) How did this get out here? (Looks around suspiciously before closing and locking the door and taking the knife up to her room with her)

------{STATIC}------

(Twilight Sparkle paces back and forth as the light from the morning sunrise pours in through the window of the holding cottage.)
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, the extra loud night broadcasts are finished, maybe now I can think clearly enough to figure out what the hay Starlight Glimmer is up to exactly.
Rainbow Dash: I'd think it's pretty obvious by now that she's trying to get us to join her weird cult and use our fame to her advantage Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, that much is obvious. She wants cutie marks. If she hates them so much though, why does she keep them intact and and in a place where she can access them? Even in the case where she can't figure out how to destroy them for good, why doesn't she just teleport them deep underground or into the ocean depths or some other equally inaccessible place? I'll tell you why: she needs them intact because she wants to use them for something. I've spent all night trying to remember any snippet of text I've ever read that involves rituals using cutie marks but I keep drawing a damn blank. For that matter, I can't remember any ritual that uses a spell GRID instead of a spell CIRCLE, which is completely unheard of! It COULD just be a way to store them, but that was such an elaborate set up in there. Why go to such trouble for a storage shed?!
Applejack: (Has actually been the one pacing this entire time with an as of yet still crippled Twilight on her back) You sure havin' me pace for ya is helpin' any sugarcube?
Twilight Sparkle: If my legs worked I would do it myself Applejack, keep pacing!
Applejack: (Sighs) Alright. (Resumes)
Twilight Sparkle: (Growls to herself) This wouldn't be nearly as frustrating if my intelligence wasn't apparently linked to my cutie mark. Why did getting it stolen by Starlight Glimmer make me about as dumb as Rainbow Dash, but losing my magic to Tirek didn't?!
Rarity: Twilight! Rainbow Dash is not dumb! She is merely impulsive, reckless, egotistical, inconsiderate, selfish, and prone to acting without giving things even a moment's thought!

Rainbow Dash: (Deadpan) Thanks Rares.
Rarity: You are most welcome. (Coughs dryly)
Pinkie Pie: (Closes her book and sets it back on the shelf) Speaking of dying of dehydration, whatever plan you come up with better be fast because our gracious host is about to give us our wake up call soon.
Twilight Sparkle: Well since you're so damn smart and focused now why don't we hear your suggestion?!
Pinkie Pie: (Shrugs) Personally I think we're completely boned, which doesn't bother me much because through deep thought during the past three days I've come to the conclusion that there is nothing to existence but a pointless downward spiral and we all would've done better not to exist at all. But if I were throwing out hail Lunas, I'd say based on your demonstration of a blank flank unicorn's capabilities that Starlight Glimmer would at least have to have a cutie mark's worth of magic capacity in order to do what she does regardless of getting assistance from the Staff of Sameness. But assuming that's true, it doesn't help us anyway. Starlight wouldn't let us get close enough to try and prove it, and I doubt she trusts Fluttershy enough yet to let her get anywhere near us either. So in the end, our choices are die of thirst or do what Starlight wants.
Twilight Sparkle: Even if that was true and we somehow knew, I doubt the villagers are going to listen to us seeing as they're brainwashed enough to be okay with Starlight EXECUTING one of the- (Violently coughs out a mix of blood and small purple crystals all over Applejack's shoulder)
Applejack:
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, I'm still internally crystallizing, removing, and replacing dead tissue bit by bit.
Applejack: (Wiping off shoulder) Ah suppose it's better than comin' out the other end.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh god speaking of which, I didn't soil myself when I died did I?!
Pinkie Pie: You did pee a little.
(The five of them flinch as a loud knocking comes from the door, and then look to one another with a mix uncertainty and resignation.)

------{STATIC}------

Starlight Glimmer: And now that your inappropriately long mane has been tamed, we can add another special moment to this morning by hopefully not killing one of your former friends!
Fluttershy: (Now with her mane done like every other mare in the village) (Sniffs sadly) Yay?
Starlight Glimmer: That's the spirit! Now stay here with your new true friends, far away from the holding cottage, while I go check on our visitors. (Trots away)
Fluttershy: Um...alright... (Expression darkens and she mutters to herself bitterly) We'll see how many friends you really have in a minute here you manipulative psychopathic bitch.
Double Diamond: What was that Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: (Shrinks back and fakes a smile) Nothing!
Starlight Glimmer: (Making her way through the crowd that parts for her) I have a good feeling about today! Let's make some new friends everypony!
(The crowd cheers as the guards posted in front of the door pull it open and direct the occupants to file out. Rarity emerges, followed by Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack with an ali-corpse on her back, all of whom look weak and disoriented from such a long stint in the desert with no sleep, food, or water.)
Starlight Glimmer: My you four are looking positively dreadful, and bordering on insanity what with carrying around a corpse. (Motions toward a nearby villager who brings her a delicious juicy looking apple) How about we spend a few minutes discussing things over breakfast? (Takes a bite of-
Twilight Sparkle: How about YOU go FUCK YOURSELF?! (Grunts as she pulls her head upward revealing she's alive, sending a collective gasp of shock rippling through the crowd)
Starlight Glimmer: (Eyes widen and drops apple in shock)
Fluttershy: Twilight! (Attempts to run forward but is stopped by Double Diamond getting in her way)
Double Diamond: Fluttershy, Starlight said to stay back. Your friends are still too dangerous to be trusted!
Starlight Glimmer: Well well WELL, seems I underestimated alicorn durability after all! Welcome back to the land of the living Princess Twilight Sparkle. Did your stint as a WORM FEAST perhaps grant you an enlightened perspective about our offer of true friendship?
Twilight Sparkle: (Narrows eyes and grits teeth in anger with a small growl) Applejack...put me down.
Applejack: But-
Twilight Sparkle: DO IT!
Applejack: (Hesitantly lowers herself down to the ground)
Twilight Sparkle: (Focuses as hard as she possibly can, and to her friends' amazement manages to slowly roll off of Applejack's back and then push herself up onto her hooves with a series of painful sounding groans and grunts) (She then manages to advance a few steps toward Starlight, glaring death at her the entire time before she stops, standing there with legs quivering with the effort of holding her up)
Starlight Glimmer: (Mocking grin) My but don't you know how to make a mare feel special.
Fluttershy: Double Diamond, please, you're a good pony at heart! All of you are! I know it!
Double Diamond: Of course we are Fluttershy, that's why we've done all of this.
Fluttershy: No, you did all of this because SHE told you to!
Double Diamond: And why should we doubt Starlight Glimmer's word after everything she's done for us?
Twilight Sparkle: Do you know how much the six of us have been through before now Starlight?
Starlight Glimmer: No but I trust you're about to enlighten m-
Twilight Sparkle: Nightmare Moon tries to thrust the entire world into an eternal night. We stopped her. Discord tries to plunge the land into chaos. We stopped him. Queen Crysalis impersonates my sister in law and almost takes over Canterlot. We stopped her. King Sombra rises from the shadows and tries to claim the Crystal Empire and all of its citizens as his own so he can mine crystals and wage a war against us we wouldn't be able to win. We stopped him. Discord's Plunderseeds spring up thousands of years after they were planted and we stopped them too! Then to cap all of that off, Tirek devours every single ounce of magic in all of Equestria and we couldn't be bothered to give one tenth of a shit when we blasted him away!
Starlight Glimmer: (Chuckles) Was your intention to make me feel accomplished from my spot here completely dominating you, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: No, my intention is to give you some perspective, because not a single one of those enemies that we defeated ever came ANYWHERE NEAR TO PISSING ME OFF AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE. You trap these idiots in the dark ages and feel like you've accomplished something. Then you kill me. But given that I'm back now that is nothing compared to the way you've kept my friends from food, water, and sleep while being content to watch them wither away without an ounce of mercy unless they surrender their will to your ass backward ideology that I'm not yet convinced isn't just a front for some other plot made by a power hungry megalomaniac, and trust me when I say that I know my megalomaniacs!
Starlight Glimmer: (Eyes narrow at the questioning of her motives) And what of YOUR motivations Twilight Sparkle? What possessed you to just up and visit our little village out of nowhere? Do you think for a second I believed your nonsense story about not knowing why you were sent here?!
(Starlight's horn pulses and the Staff of Sameness levitates out of her front door on the other end of the village before flying into the sky, crystallizing in mid air before it arcs downward and stabs into the ground next to her. She grips it with her magic and aims the two menacing points directly at her head again.)
Starlight Glimmer: You were sent here by Celestia with the express purpose of destroying our way of life. From the very beginning your only objective was to snuff us out before we could spread our message of true friendship through equality, preserving the power structures that prop you alicorn FILTH up above the rest of us! You are nothing but a weapon, wielded by the royal deceivers and aimed at each and every one of our throats, Twilight Sparkle! CONFESS!!!
(The crowd starts to murmur uncertainly.)
Fluttershy: Because...oh, you're right Double Diamond. (Her head lowers sadly) Even if I told everypony they wouldn't believe me!
Double Diamond: (Tilts head in confusion)
Fluttershy: (Perks up and starts looking around) Wait! I don't have to tell anypony, I'll just show them! (Gasps as she spots the exact thing she's looking for and then dashes away through the air)
Double Diamond: But I was told to...well...she's not flying toward the visitors. I suppose Starlight wouldn't be worred about that.
Twilight Sparkle: Heh...heheheh...
Starlight Glimmer: (Arches eyebrow) Shall I take that as a confession then?
Twilight Sparkle: No, I'm just laughing because this whole thing is kind of funny...you have the wherewithal to call me a weapon but are so very, VERY naive in every other respect. You ACTUALLY believe you overpowered me.
Starlight Glimmer: (Cracks a smile again and lets out a brief laugh) Is there another way to describe the way I effortlessly broke through your barrier and sent you hurtling from your ivory tower back into the dirt where you belong? Because I'm all ears.
Twilight Sparkle: (Her own smile widens to a somewhat unnerving degree) Do you understand what I'm saying Starlight? That equality sign on my flank...do you know what would've happened when the door on that cottage opened just now if it weren't for that?
(There is a brief surge of blue light along the outer edge of Twilight's crystallized eye prior to her cutie mark pulsing and extinguishing it.)
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight...you'd be dead where you stand.
Starlight Glimmer: Hrmph, forgive me if I'm less than intimidated, Sparkle.

Starlight Glimmer: Although...
(Starlight's horn lights up and Twilight is slammed against the ground as the crystallized staff raises into the air above her.)
Starlight Glimmer: Why take the chance? (Grins) See you in a few MONTHS Prince-
(A jet of water knocks Starlight clean off her hooves and pins her against the wall of the holding cottage leaving her to cry out and sputter as she tries to shield her face. The crystal layer of the staff shatters and the harmless hunk of wood merely taps against Twilight's head as it falls before tipping over into the dirt. Everypony looks over to see Fluttershy holding a fire hose with bloody vengeance burning in her eyes.)
Fluttershy: YOU HURT MY FRIENDS, I MAKE AMENDS!!!
Rainbow Dash: Aww yeah go Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: AND I DON'T CARE HOW GOOD YOUR RUMP LOOKS GLISTENING WITH STEAMY WATER!!!
Rainbow Dash: ...what?
(Starlight manages to get back to her hooves only to slip and fall again with a shriek, drawing her limbs inward to protect herself from the stinging ice cold onslaught until finally the jet of water ceases and she dares to peek out from between her hooves.)
Starlight Glimmer: Ran out of high pressure water I take it? (Gets back up) I knew I shouldn't have trusted you-
(Starlight is slammed against the wall again as Fluttershy opens the valve full force again after her guard was down.)
Starlight Glimmer: FOR BUCK'S- (PFFFFT) -SAKE SOMEPONY- (WARGARBLE) -GRAB HER!!!
(Double Diamond grabs Fluttershy as another stallion takes away the firehose and closes the valve.)
Double Diamond: Fluttershy, what's gotten into you?!
Fluttershy: (Flailing a hoof in Starlight's direction) Her flank! Everypony look at her flank!
Starlight Glimmer: (Eyes widen with panic prior to her slamming her side against the house and covering her other flank with her tail) Don't listen to her! She's just trying to distract you with her lies!
Nightglider: (Steps out of the crowd) But why are you shielding your flanks from us Starlight?
Sugar Belle: (Steps out as well) You haven't got anything to hide, right?
Twilight Sparkle: (Laughs from her spot still on the ground) Holy crap Pinkie Pie was right wasn't she?!
(Starlight looks around nervously, tearing up a bit before she lowers her head in shame, the Staff of Sameness levitating over to her in the grip of her magic. She then ceases leaning against the side of the cottage and removes her tail, revealing a cutie mark of a purple and white star with two blue glimmering streams above it much to the shock and dismay of the crowd.)
Double Diamond: (Lets go of Fluttershy) But...I don't understand Starlight. You told us that cutie marks were the source of all misery and sadness amongst ponies! Why have you kept yours while taking away all of ours?
Starlight Glimmer: Yes...I know. I have lied to all of you for years out of shame for my terrible secret. The truth is that I have had a cutie mark the entire time. I've been concealing it with makeup.
Sugar Belle: (In tears) But why?!
Nightglider: You killed Party Favor in defense of a lie!
Twilight Sparkle: (Manages to raise a single hoof with great effort from her spot planted in the dirt) Also royalty!
Nightglider: That too!
(The crowd begins to properly rabble and advance upon her demanding answers.)
Starlight Glimmer: My dear ponies...it is because the Staff of Sameness has no actual power. (Snaps it in half sending another gasp through the crowd as she discards the two pieces broken halves) The truth is that to even make our way of life possible by removing cutie marks, a large amount of magic is needed...too much to manage without a cutie mark. (She magically summons a crystalline lance out of thin air without any aid from the broken staff at all) The Staff of Sameness is merely a piece of wood I found in the desert. By making you all think that IT was the thing removing your cutie marks, I sought to never have to confess that it was my own magic the entire time. I've yearned for so long to relinquish my cutie mark and join you all in your happiness and unity, but I could not in good conscience do so knowing that it would make it impossible to spread this joy anypony else again. Neither could I tell any of you for fear that you would not understand and think me a mere lying tyrant before letting our utopia crumble...but that is still no excuse for lying to you all. I am deeply ashamed of myself, and with all of my heavy heart I offer you the deepest of apologies and beg for your forgiveness.

Double Diamond: I understand.
Nightglade: Me too.
Sugar Belle: Me too.
(The crowd responds in kind and seems to calm down.)
Twilight Sparkle: ARE YOU- (Vomits up another bit of blood and crystal before coughing a few times) -FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
(The rest of the mane six look horrified by the villagers accepting the apology, including Fluttershy bursting into tears as Double Diamond restrains her again.)
Starlight Glimmer: (Lets out a heavy sigh of relief, brushing a tear from her eye) I am so happy you understand. I feel like such a massive burden has been taken from my shoulders. I had my doubts at the cave, but now I think that lying about that Sense Motive check DC was all worth it.
(The crowd gasps and turn toward her in shock again.)
Starlight Glimmer: (Looks around) ...what?
Double Diamond: (Lets Fluttershy go again) Twilight rolled an 18, I saw it! I just assumed the DC was 20! Are you saying it wasn't?
Starlight Glimmer: Well, no. The set up was sketchy so I couldn't in good conscience give it a DC of more than 15, but it was for-
Sugar Belle: Nothing is worth violating the sacred rules of the dice!
Nightglider: This is unforgivable Starlight!
Double Diamond: If we can't trust you with our dice rolls, then we can't trust you with anything!
Starlight Glimmer: (Takes a step back) What?!
Applejack: (Arching a disbelieving eyebrow) After all that, THIS is what finally gets ya'll angry?!
Twilight Sparkle: (Still stuck on the ground) SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET THEM GET ANGRY APPLEJACK!
Starlight Glimmer: (Continuing to retreat from the advancing angry crowd) Wait! D-don't come any closer! Is it not the DM's job to make sure things go smoothly? Who cares if I fudge the dice rolls one way or the other if everypony is enjoying themselves?!
Nightglider: You've tainted the purity of the game!
Sugar Belle: The entire point is to accept the rolls of the dice and let it create an emergent world!
Double Diamond: What point is there when the DM is simply shuffling us along from completely scripted encounter to completely scripted encounter?!
Twilight Sparkle: I bet you're the type of DM that doesn't even think of any alternative outcomes to account for unexpected rolls aren't you? A natural 20 crits your carefully crafted antagonist's head off and all you can do is go 'I'm sorry it's not meant to go that way, you miss'.
Starlight Glimmer: (Begins to visibly glower with anger, her face a grimace of building sadness and rage)
Twilight Sparkle: Quite a fitting reflection of your rampant devotion to mediocrity if you ask-
Starlight Glimmer: (Furiously turns on Twilight Sparkle, eyes brimming with tears) (Eight more red lances appear and slam into the ground around her to startle away the crowd before they vanish and reappear surrounding Twilight with points aimed right at her) QUIET YOU LAP DOG, YOU GLORIFIED SABER, YOU VAMPIRIC WHORE OF THE CROWN!!! YOU SPEAK OF FRIENDSHIP SO HIGHLY BUT ONLY USE THE WORD TO GET WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF PONIES IN EXCHANGE FOR FALSE PROMISES THAT LEAVE NOTHING BUT A HOLLOW MISERABLE SHELL BEHIND, AND YOU DON'T CARE!!!
Twilight Sparkle: (Is, for a single moment, speechless at such a familiar sentiment)
Double Diamond: Starlight, we are getting our cutie marks back.
Starlight Glimmer: (All but one lance fall to the ground as her concentration is shattered) What? No! Please, do not buy into her lies!
Fluttershy: (Takes advantage of the distraction and flies over to Twilight, hugging her tightly before picking her up and carrying her back over to the rest of their friends)
Nightglider: (Glaring) Or else what?
Starlight Glimmer: I'll...I'll stop you myself! (Holds the one lance in front of her menacingly) I will save you from yourselves before you make such a reckless mistake!
Sugar Belle: There's only one of you Starlight. You can only stop so many of us.
Nightglider: How many more beyond Party Favor are you willing to “stop”?
Starlight Glimmer: … (Closes her eyes tightly and then teleports away with an anguished yell, leaving the villagers free to do as they wish as she bolts for her cottage and the other end of the lane)
Double Diamond: Come on everypony! Let's get our cutie marks back!
(Everypony cheers and starts making a break for the cutie mark vault, Double Diamond pausing to pick up the two halves of the staff.)
Sugar Belle: (Stops and looks back) Aren't you six coming with us? ...oh.
(Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity have their heads practically submerged in the watering trough zealously drinking down deep gulps of the water they'd been denied for days.)
Rarity: (Pulls head out of the water to catch her breath and then sobs) What sort of beast have I become?! My mane is ruined and I don't even care that Pinkie Pie jumped into this trough after not bathing for three daaaaaaays!
Pinkie Pie: (Calmly rises out of the water) I am feeling somewhat more comfortable with the reality of existence now.
(Meanwhile Fluttershy holds Twilight up to drink, supporting her submerged head with a hoof beneath her chin. Twilight taps the side of the trough and Fluttershy pulls her head out of the water.)
Twilight Sparkle: (Gasps!) Just in case something else kills me for a few days again, I'm sorry I treated you like crap for the entire trip Fluttershy. You mess up a lot and it's aggravating as hell, but you're a good pony who...tries, and you don't entirely deserve quite all of the abuse I give you. There was a firm but less hurtful way I could've handled things. Also to be perfectly honest it would be exceedingly easy to just let me drown right now and I'd love to be on your good side.
Fluttershy: (Sighs) I'll take what I can get I suppose. (Dips Twilight's head down to let her resume drinking) … (Looks thoughtful)

------{TO BE CONTINUED}------
Okay so, I'm curious. Given that this is an art site, which means people are here for ART, is it inappropriate for me to post Twitch channel related news on here of any sort? I like getting the news out there but if all its going to do is annoy people with something they're not interested in it's actually quite counter productive.
I should probably act like I exist again and start replying to comments. I used to do it a decent amount but it seems like I never do anymore despite still loving to get them just as much, so I'm going to take a couple minutes today and reply to all the comments on the last few things I submitted and then try and keep doing that to any new ones that people post.

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:iconmrbastoff:
MrBastoff Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2015
Happy birthday, little boy!youtu.be/fqOgGpgRX6c
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:iconponebiscuit:
PoneBiscuit Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2015
Happy birthday! :la:
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:iconladyleomon:
LadyLeomon Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
Hi Brony17! I loved the original Silent Ponyville and the sequels, I'm loving Silent Ponyville Reunion even more now! Just checking are you still continuing it in the future? I'm dying from giddiness imagining Lance when he finds out Posey made Fluttershy do what she did! I'm imagining the Marie/Maria from Silent Hill 2, they looked so similar but we're total opposites ... So which one is Lance with?

Just knowing you'll continue it one day is enough to get me through the days until the next chapter. Amazing work ^_^
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:iconbrony17:
Brony17 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2015
Rest assured I do intend to finish it, and am glad you enjoyed reading it!

And I'm not telling anyone plot details, because what fun would that be? ;)
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:iconladyleomon:
LadyLeomon Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
I'm so glad it is still in progress thank you ^_^

i'm just guessing at what could happen, he keeps reliving memories so if he relives that last day ... Oh I'm gonna love it!

Thanks for your time and thanks again for writing an awesome story with creepy/cool monsters, I especially love the Monarch

Laters ^_^

P.S May I make a small request? I know multiple endings are commonplace with SP fanfics, may I ask you do an ending like Silent Hill 2's ending with the Dog? I laughed till my face hurt seeing Harry having a nervous breakdown over knowing the dang dog did it all! If not thanks for listening :)
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:iconnullsplice:
NullSplice Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015  Professional General Artist
+fav Thanks
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:iconxeno-the-hedgehog:
Xeno-the-Hedgehog Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It would seem that you haven't posted anything in several months.  Are you alright?
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:iconbrony17:
Brony17 Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014
I'm still here, and I'm planning for October to be a busy month here.
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:icongodzillabadger:
godzillabadger Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanx for the fave! :)
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:iconcheshiretwilight:
CheshireTwilight Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: :iconthumbsupplz:
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